other end did she relax and turn to regard her passengers.
They were staring at her in amazement.
She shrugged. “I told you: my Gifts are not inconsiderable. And I don’t have much sympathy for thieves.”
Auraya moved from sling bed to sling bed, examining the Siyee yet again. Two of the sick were fighting Hearteater effectively, the other two were struggling. She did not want to use Mirar’s healing Gift on them until she was sure they wouldn’t defeat the disease by themselves.
I’m calling it “Mirar’s healing Gift” now, she thought. Not Leiard’s. I suppose Mirar has been using it for hundreds, even thousands, of years. It is his more than Leiard’s.
Tyve watched her, his thoughts full of curiosity and worry. She could not make herself stop moving. She could only pace from bower to bower, trying to find a distraction to stop her thinking about what she had done.
I disobeyed Huan. I disobeyed the gods I’m sworn to serve.
The alternative had been to kill a man who did not deserve it. That should not matter. I should trust the gods have reason to want him dead. Juran did, long ago.
Instead of reassuring her, that thought only brought her more discomfort. I can’t believe Juran tried to kill Mirar without being sure it was justified. Though she knew it was his duty to do as the gods wished, she found she thought less of him for doing so. I wonder if he knows what has happened…
One of the Siyee woke and asked for water. Tyve did not stir as she rushed to take a bowl to the woman. As she held it to the woman’s lips a terrible feeling of dread welled up in her and she froze.
A familiar presence was moving toward her. Auraya let out a gasp of relief as she recognized Chaia.
:Auraya, he said.
:Chaia!
:I can see I don’t need to tell you that you‘re in trouble, he said. His words were spoken lightly, but she sensed a deeper concern.
:No, she said.
A hand touched hers. She looked up, startled, to find Tyve taking the bowl away from her. He waved her away from the patient. Auraya moved toward the bower entrance.
:Why did I do it? she asked Chaia. Or why didn’t I do it?
:You have a conscience, he told her. You need to know your actions are justified. To you, being just and right is more important than obedience. It is a part of your nature I like. Unfortunately my view is not shared by the others.
:By all of the others, or just Huan?
:We vary in our opinions, but are united in our decisions, Auraya. It is not for you to know our individual views.
She stepped outside. The sunlight was too bright. She headed for the shade.
:You and the other gods must have known it was part of my nature. Why did you choose me to be a White?
:Because the White cannot all be the same. You each have strengths and weaknesses. When you work together your weaknesses are lessened and your strengths enhanced. Your own weakness—your compassion—is your strength. A leader who can kill without question is unlikely to have the empathy and compassion needed to negotiate mutually beneficial alliances and help other people resolve their differences.
:Then why did Huan choose me for this task?
:I’m afraid you are the wrong White in the wrong place at the wrong time. You should not be the one executing Mirar—and not just because you were once in love with a part of him.
Auraya felt a spark of hope.
:Am I forgiven, then?
:Not quite, Chaia replied. Some of us believe that the White must be obedient, no matter what is in their nature. If the White have different natures, then they are bound to disagree at times. When conflict happens they must look to us for a resolution. They must obey us, or their unity will be broken.
Auraya felt her stomach sink.
:Huan still wants me to murder Mirar.
:Execute, not murder.
As her hopes were smothered she was surprised to find anger stirring.
:And if I refuse again? she found herself asking.
:You will be punished. To what degree I cannot guess. It took me some time to persuade the others to give you a second chance. I also insisted that you be given a day to reflect on the task and the consequences of refusing or obeying. While you do, consider this: sometimes we face a problem where all solutions are unpleasant, where the least damaging option must be chosen. Consider which choice is the least damaging