The Last Eligible Bachelor - Ashtyn Newbold Page 0,41
sitting down beside her on the bed. “I am very sorry about your ankle.”
“I be grateful for it. Now I shan’t lift a finger to work until it heals.”
I laughed, grateful for the momentary relief to my worries.
“We must pick a pretty dress for your ride tomorrow.”
I shook my head. “I can’t go. I will have to send Mr. Hill my regrets.”
Jessie gasped, sitting up straight. “You have to go! A true lady wouldn’t go back on her word.”
Casting her a suspicious look, I crossed my arms. “You are not hoping Mr. Hill will choose me, are you? It is impossible. If I had to reject a proposal from him, Sophia’s parents would surely learn of it, and she would be punished. As a result, so would I.” I shook my head, the wet hair around my face waving with the motion. “You must see why I cannot go. He is to have no impression that I encourage his affection. I tried to behave like Miss Downsfield, and I failed. Now all I must do is appear completely genuine in my disregard for him.” My stomach twisted. In reality, I regarded him quite highly. He was a good man, and I did not revel in the idea of hurting him. There was still a large part of me that wondered if he really was playing a game. It didn’t matter. I would never know.
“I suppose you’re right.” Jessie pursed her lips. “He’s a very good gent, you must confess. And you deserve a good man, Tillie.”
My heart warmed at her words, and sudden tears pricked my eyes. I pushed the emotion away, crossing my arms tighter. I had never thought I deserved anything good. “A good man, perhaps, but not a good gentleman.” I smoothed out the wrinkles on my clean skirts, picking at a loose thread. “Mr. Hill is far too elevated in society to ever consider me if he knew who I really was. He would lose everything.” I looked up, meeting Jessie’s eyes. “And I am not worth sacrificing everything for. Even if he does like me for any strange reason, he doesn't love me. I’m not certain even love could encourage a gentleman to marry a lady’s maid.”
Jessie cast me a thoughtful glance, her eyes turning wistful. “I think love could encourage anything.”
I forced a smile to my face for her sake, trying to calm the turmoil in my stomach. “I must accomplish what I came here to do, and that is all. I will send my regrets to Mr. Hill in the morning, but at dinner tonight, I will be polite and reserved.”
Jessie seemed to finally see sense, giving a tight-lipped nod. “But what if Mr. Hill tries to speak with you again?”
“I’ll direct his attention to Miss Coppins. She is my favorite of all the ladies here, so he might as well take her for a ride in the morning instead.”
Jessie sat back on her pillows, interlacing her fingers. “He’ll be quite disappointed.”
In truth, so would I.
Mrs. Ollerton assigned a new maid to assist me while Jessie recovered, so a young maid named Lydia styled my hair for the evening. She pulled the dark curls into a chignon, leaving loose tendrils hanging about my face. The one evening gown I hadn’t worn yet was a pale blue, the sleeves edged in pointed lace and embroidery. I noticed the line of stitches hidden under the arm where I had mended it several months before. Sophia had believed that the stitches were too visible to wear the gown in public, so she had given it to me.
Before I could turn away, the maid pinched my cheeks between her vice-like fingers, bringing a flush of color to them. Sophia had never required that of me, as her face had a natural flush to it. If Mr. Hill had anything to do with it, my face would be flushed enough all evening.
Reserved. Removed. Quiet. Invisible. I let each word course through my mind as I made my way downstairs to the drawing room where everyone was gathered before dinner. Mr. Hill had seen through all my acts. Now I simply needed to act like what I truly was. A maid. If anything could drive him away, it was that. Perhaps I could pretend to be ill after dinner, so my excuses in the morning would be more plausible.
Distracted by my thoughts, I didn’t immediately notice the silence of the drawing room when I entered. All the ladies were