He grabbed hold of her wrists again, this time pinning her arms behind her back with one of his hands, taking the other and gripping her chin with his thumb and forefinger, drawing her down for a kiss while he pushed up deeper inside of her.
He swallowed the raw sound that rose up in her throat as he pushed himself in and out of her, still holding her fast, holding her captive.
He released his hold on her chin, moving his hand down to cup her breast, teasing her tight nipple with his thumb until the color deepened, until she was gasping for more. Until she claimed his mouth with her own, kissing him as he continued to move inside of her, kept on teasing her aroused body.
She struggled against his hold, and he held on to her more tightly. “Let me,” he said, skimming his lips over her cheek, along the line of her jaw and down her neck, sliding his tongue over her collarbone. “Let me,” he repeated.
He fastened his lips over the center of her breast, sucking her in deep. Then, he released his hold on her wrists, grabbing hold of her hips, strengthening the force of his thrusts, pulling her down against him as he moved up, increasing the friction, increasing the intensity in each clash of their bodies.
He was lost in this, in this moment, watching her dark eyes glaze with pleasure every time he came into contact with her sweet clit, every time he went deep. And when she finally came, as her internal muscles tightened around him, her release coming from deep inside of her, he watched her face. Watched her expression as she gave herself up to pleasure.
It felt like absolution for his soul. It felt like every bit of forgiveness he had ever needed.
He surrendered himself to it. Let all of his defenses drop. He had no control here, no more to offer her. All he could do was take. Take each and every bit of that redemption that was on offer. Like it was his last breath, his last chance. Like it was the only thing that could ever save him.
He gave it all up. Gave himself up in a release that was enough to shatter his bones.
He grabbed hold of her hair, tugging her head backward, pressing his lips to her throat, holding her like that until the storm in him subsided.
When it passed, he picked her up, laying them both down across the couch, resting his head on her stomach. Her arms came up around him, holding him against her, her fingers laced through his hair.
It was hard to remember the last time he’d been happy. He wasn’t sure this was happiness. But he was lighter than he’d been for a long time. Still, he didn’t remember happiness hurting quite like this. Maybe it was impossible to feel anything without a little bit of pain when you knew how heavy the world could be. When you knew the cost of everything.
When he’d been young, he hadn’t imagined the cost. His daddy had paid for everything, so as far as he had seen, it was all free. It was what his father was still doing. Paying for everything, trying to cover things that money would never be sufficient for.
He smiled, just a little bit, and he felt a piece of glass shift inside his chest, cutting him a little bit deeper while he let the moment roll over him. While he let this, her, mean something. It felt good, and it felt bad too. But he’d had a lot of years of just bad; he imagined she had too.
Right now, there was forgiveness, and she was holding him. So he would just focus on that. And let the rest take care of itself.
For a little while, at least.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
REBECCA WOKE UP with a start. She opened her eyes, and found herself staring at her living room ceiling. She was lying on her couch, an unfamiliar weight resting on her stomach. Gage. She was holding on to his shoulders, resting in exactly the same position she had been since they’d finished making love.
It was getting dark outside, which meant they must have been sleeping for at least an hour. It got dark early this time of year, so she doubted it was very late. She never left her store early, but today she had. Today she had had a complete nervous breakdown on the floor then come back and got