Lamb The Gospel According to Biff Christs Childho - By Christopher Moore Page 0,136

little sister Miriam, didn't you?" Here her voice went to a conspiratorial whisper. "Started wearing men's clothes and ran off to the island of Lesbos." Back to normal nudging tone. "That's Greek, you know? You boys didn't go to Greece on your travels, did you?"

"No, Mother, I really have to go."

I tried to stand and she grabbed me. "It's because your father has a Greek name, isn't it? I told you, Alphaeus, change the name, but you said you were proud of it. Well, I hope you're proud of it now. What's next, Lucius here will start hanging Jews on crosses like the other Romans?"

"I'm not a Roman, Mother," Lucius said wearily. "Lots of good Jews have Latin names."

"Not that it matters, Mother, but how do you think they get more Greeks?"

To my mother's credit, she stopped for a second to think. I used the lull to escape.

"Nice to see you guys." I nodded to all of my relatives, old and new. "I'll come by and visit before I go. I have to go check on Joshua." And I was out the door.

I threw the door open at Joshua's old house without even knocking, nearly coldcocking Joshua's brother Judah in the process. "Josh, you've got to bring the kingdom soon or I'm going to have to kill my mother."

"She still plagued by demons?" asked Judah, who looked exactly as he had when he was four, except for the beard and the receding hairline, but he was as wide-eyed and goofy of smile as he had ever been.

"No, I was just being hopeful when I used to say that."

"Will you join us for supper?" said Mary. Thank God she had aged: gone a little thicker around the hips and waist, developed some lines at the corner of her eyes and mouth. Now she was just the second or third most beautiful creature on earth.

"Love to," I said.

James must have been home with his wife and children, as I guessed were the other sisters and brothers, except for Miriam, and I'd already been apprised of her whereabouts. At the table it was only Mary, Joshua, Judah, his pretty wife, Ruth, and two little redheaded girls that looked like their mother.

I expressed my condolences for the family's loss, and Joshua filled me in on the timing of events. About the time that I spotted Mary's portrait on the temple wall in Nicobar, Joseph had taken ill with some disease of the water. He started peeing blood, and in a week he was bedridden. He lingered only a week longer before he died. He'd been buried for two months now. I looked at Joshua as Mary related this part of the story and he shook his head, meaning, too long in the grave, there's nothing I can do. Mary had known nothing about a message calling us home.

"Even if you two had only been in Damascus you'd have been lucky to get here in time. He went so fast." She was strong, had recovered somewhat from the loss, but Joshua appeared to still be in shock.

"You have to go find Joshua's cousin John," Mary said. "He's been preaching about the coming of the kingdom, of preparing the way for the Messiah."

"We've heard," I said.

"I'll stay here with you, Mother," Joshua said. "James is right, I have responsibilities. I've shirked them too long."

Mary touched her son's face and looked in his eyes. "You will leave in the morning and you will find John the Baptist in Judea and you will do what God has ordained you do since he placed you in my womb. Your responsibilities are not to a bitter brother or an old woman."

Joshua looked at me. "Can you leave in the morning? I know it's soon after being gone so long."

"Actually, I thought I'd stay, Josh. Your mother needs someone to look after her, and she's still a relatively attractive woman. I mean, a guy could do worse."

Judah aspirated an olive pit and began coughing furiously until Joshua pounded him on the back and the pit shot across the room, leaving Judah gasping and staring at me through watery red eyes.

I put my hand on Joshua and Judah's shoulders. "I think I can learn to love you both as sons." I looked at the pretty but shy Ruth, who was tending the little girls. "And you, Ruth, I hope that you can learn to love me as a slightly older, but incredibly attractive close uncle. And you, Mary - "

"Will you go