Lakewood - Megan Giddings Page 0,55
wrote them down on the back of her Day 47 form. In her fake life, she was taking a warehouse safety seminar. On the long conference-room table were clear containers filled with small gray pills. Low dosage. Minimal risk. But if you do experience a headache, confusion, disorientation, you need to tell us as quickly as possible. You will be observed throughout the day.
“No shit,” Lena mouthed to Charlie. He grinned.
Dr. Lisa’s eyes were on her sheet of paper. She kept looking up, her eyes drifting from a woman with thick black eyebrows that made her look pissed off, to Pancake Butt, to Smith. The paper in her hands fluttered a little; she was shaking. There was a tension in the air that was not aimed at the study participants. It felt like being seated at a restaurant near a couple who had obviously fought in the car but refused to take an L on that particular date.
Lena touched the side of Charlie’s hand. He turned toward her and she mouthed, “What’s going on?”
He shook his head slightly. Mouthed something back that looked like ice cream sandwich.
“Do you have any questions?” Dr. Lisa asked.
“How will you be able to tell the difference between me now and me under the pill’s effects?” Judy laughed at her own joke.
Dr. Lisa smiled faintly and asked, “Any real questions?”
“Pink slip, froideur, sinking,” Mariah whispered.
“Can I ask a question?” Lena raised her hand.
“You just did,” Charlie muttered.
“If I decided to opt out of this study halfway through, what would happen?”
“You can’t opt out.”
Lena kept her face measured, nodded. “I have another question.”
Dr. Lisa raised her eyebrows. “Shoot.”
“What is froideur?”
“A word. It’s not important.”
“It can be used to describe a falling-out between people.” Lena turned. Smith’s eyes were on his clipboard. “It’s like a frostiness. Being reserved. I think.”
“Sure. Whatever.” Dr. Lisa scratched her neck. “It’s time to get started.”
Lena picked up her pill, put it in her mouth, and kept it beneath her tongue. It tasted like the stuff dentists used to numb the mouth when filling a cavity. “Seven, wrapping paper, exercise.”
“Excursion,” Tom corrected. “Wait, no. Exercise.”
“Excursion?” Ian rubbed his head.
The pill was starting to dissolve in Lena’s mouth. She took her water bottle and went to the break room. Lena turned on the sink faucet and put her mouth to it. She let the water run on her cheek, opened her mouth wide. The water, like most water in Lakewood, had a tang to it. The partially dissolved pill dropped out of her mouth into the sink. The water’s force pushed it down into the drain.
When she came back with a full water bottle, Lena said to Judy, “My mouth feels like it’s wearing a raincoat.”
“My tongue tastes like metals.” Judy took the bottle from Lena’s hands. Squeezed some into her mouth. It dropped onto her chin, down onto her blouse.
Ian was going through his desk drawers over and over as if he was looking for something. Charlie was flipping between a spreadsheet and what looked like his research for Fantasy Football. Mariah was singing the phrase “In the attic, you can smell the seeds” over and over in a flat tone while watching a video of someone meditating.
Lena sat down. She took all the pens out of the cup on her desk. Arranged them to look like a square, a house, an “L.”
The woman Lena called Angry Eyebrows tapped her on the shoulder. “Dr. Lisa would like to see you.”
The two of them walked up the stairs. Lena’s sandals slapping, and asking for attention with each step. Dr. Lisa was adjusting her air-conditioning unit. “I can’t get it to stop blowing directly on my face.”
“Crank it to the left,” said Angry Eyebrows.
“No, right,” Lena said.
There were piles of folders and notebooks strewn across the doctor’s desk. A photo of Dr. Lisa with kids peeked out of one. A little boy was holding a soccer ball. He was smiling and missing a front tooth. He looked so much happier here, not as if he was about to clutch the ball closer and start whispering, “I hate you, Dad.”
Dr. Lisa sat down. “I used to teach kindergarten.” She touched her hair as if checking to see if anything was out of place.
Lena made eye contact. “What was your favorite part of that?”
“So, I gave you some things to memorize.”
“Sinking, froideur, pink slip. One of my best friends is going to be a teacher. What made you choose kindergarten over middle school?”
Dr. Lisa checked a