“What about him? Nancy never knew which one of the many guys she’d been sleeping with knocked her up.”
“What about foster homes?”
“Didn’t work.”
Even though his tone was expressionless, his words tore at her. She felt the sting of tears. No father. No mother. No home. No child should have to endure anything so painful. “I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be. It was a long time ago. It doesn’t matter.”
“Yes, it does.”
“Don’t,” he said again, his voice low and harsh.
“Don’t what?”
He tipped her chin up. Wiped away her tears with the pad of his thumb. “Pity me.”
She searched his dark eyes. “I’m not.” It was the truth.
“I was just thinking how amazing you are. To have endured so much and instead of letting it crush you, you excelled.”
“Jenny,” he said her name like a prayer. “What am I going to do with you?” He didn’t wait for an answer; instead, he pulled her against him and slowly lowered his mouth to her. The touch of his lips on hers stole her breath. She didn’t think; she reacted. She wrapped her arms around the back of his neck and sank into him. She tilted her head back and opened her mouth. He growled low in the back of his throat and deepened the kiss. Spirals of hot desire started low in her stomach and spread outward until her whole body was on fire. She stretched up on her toes to fit herself more firmly against his warm, hard body. His hands wrapped around her and lifted her tightly against him. He buried his face in the side of her neck, whispered her name over and over, before reclaiming her mouth in a kiss that seared her all the way to her soul.
In the end, it was Jared who pulled back. “Go,” he said, “before I do something we’ll both regret.”
As Jared watched Jenny run to the house, he wondered where in the hell he’d found the strength to pull away from her. Raw desire ate at his gut. She intoxicated him, filled him with a wanting that all but overpowered him. Holding her, he’d almost been able to delude himself that the type of future he used to dream about was still a possibility.
I was just thinking how amazing you are. To have endured so much and instead of letting it crush you, you excelled.
The cool night air washed over him, tried to cool his overheated body. If she only knew the truth. He hadn’t excelled; he’d fucked up. Again. It was the same thing that happened every time he let his emotions get involved.
He looked up at the inky dark sky. If he’d only stayed detached, he’d still be up there and not down on the ground kissing Jenny with a fervor he prayed would drive everyone else from her mind—would drive Steven from her mind. But how was a man supposed to stay detached when innocent people were being slaughtered? How was he supposed to buy into a set of rules that were based solely on politics rather than what was just?
He walked back to the fire, doused it. As he watched the wood hiss and steam, he lost the battle to forget about his past . . . forget about the day he lost everything.
There had been nothing unusual about that day. He’d been flying a regular mission, just about ready to head back to the carrier, when his radar had picked up something. He was on fumes, but that hadn’t stopped him from investigating further. What he found made his stomach turn. Refugees were being slaughtered by the hundreds as they fled from attack. It was an all-out massacre. Witnessing what was happening, Jared didn’t think about anything but saving innocent lives. Not his CO’s command nor the rules of engagement. He’d done what he thought was right; he provided air support until the refugees found safety. But by doing so, it had cost him his career. His life.
The front door slammed shut. He dropped his gaze from the sky and looked out across the dark yard to Jenny’s house. He would not make the same mistake again. Stay detached. It was the only way he knew how to survive. But as he continued to stare at her house, something told him that this time was going to be a hell of a lot tougher than anything he’d faced before.
FIFTEEN
As the following week unfolded, the weather took a turn. Heavy, dark clouds rolled in and hung low in