He crowded her mind, made her forget—and worse—made her remember. And each time her body responded to him, she felt so much guilt. As if Steven were alive and she was cheating on him.
A part of her wanted to pack her bags and run away like she had as a child. Except, back then, she’d always escaped to the safety of Nana’s house. But the reality was, she still felt safe here. Even with Jared here. Maybe because he was here. And that was definitely not something she wanted to examine too closely.
After Steven had died, all Jenny had wanted was to be left alone. When her family kept showing up, trying to comfort her, she had been quick to push them away. She told them she was happy living by herself on the lake. And she was. She still was. But as much as she hated to admit it, sometime during this last week, she had started to find solace knowing someone else was in the house. There was a strength about Jared that she couldn’t deny. He possessed an air about him she’d never sensed in another man. Not even Steven. It was there in the way Jared walked, the way he spoke, and the quiet restlessness that seemed to keep him on alert at all times.
Her hands bunched in the grass as she fought against the wave of guilt that rolled over her. How could she be so disloyal? She fought for and found a mental picture of Steven. In her mind she saw his sandy blond hair, his smiling face. But then his hair changed color, turned an ebony black. And his green eyes became hard blue sapphires.
Water skiers roared past, startling her. Waves slapped angrily against the beach and splashed across the sand.
She sat up and looped her arms around her bent knees, trying to stop her trembling.
Steven her mind begged, looking for forgiveness.
A loud bang came from the hangar, but she didn’t turn around. Jared was inside doing heaven only knew what. Over the last week, he’d laid claim to the space, and Jenny seemed to be the only one who had a problem with that. Zeke took it all in stride, acting as if he enjoyed having another guy around the place. Several times Jenny found herself working up her courage to confront him, to remind him that this was her business, and she was in charge. But whenever she was near him, he threw her off balance and made her forget what she wanted to say.
She picked up a rock and tossed it in the water. Maybe her family and friends were right. Maybe she did need to get out. For so many months, she’d gone out of her way to distance herself from friends and even her family to the extent they’d allow it. Being around people only reminded her of everything she had lost. Living had been replaced by mere existing. Living meant you laughed and you loved. Existing was just basic survival. You could be numb when you just existed. Numb was good. Numb kept her from feeling a pain so crippling it would destroy her.
She needed Jared to leave. And it wasn’t just because of the business. There was more: an awareness of him that scared her like nothing else since Steven’s death.
He could not stay here for the next four months. She wouldn’t survive.
A tall shadow fell over her, blocking out the sun. She tensed, not needing to turn around to know who it was.
“We need to talk.” His deep voice with a hint of roughness was becoming all too familiar. So was the perpetual look of irritation in his hard blue eyes. She didn’t need to be facing him to know it would be there. His tone said it all.
“Ignoring me won’t work.”
She’d beg to differ.
“It’s about your Beaver.”
She whipped her head around so fast her neck twinged in protest. From her spot on the ground, her eyes leveled on the five-button fly of a pair of worn Levi’s. Embarrassment tinged her cheeks pink, and that was before she forced her gaze up. She swallowed hard. He wasn’t wearing a shirt. Taking up her whole line of vision was his bare chest and a set of broad shoulders, tanned by the sun and defined by muscles. A T-shirt dangled from the back pocket of his jeans. “My wh-what?”