head and groaned. Drinking that bottle of wine last night had been a mistake. Naively she’d thought it would help. Help her get Jared out of her mind, help her deal with her sister, help her sleep. But it hadn’t done any of those things. She’d spent yet another sleepless night walking through the dark and painfully quiet house, trying to forget.
There had been a time right after Steven’s death when she’d wanted to go to sleep and never wake up. While she didn’t wish for exactly that anymore, she did crave the sweet oblivion of sleep at night. Most days, that was the only way she could make herself get up, by promising herself that at the end of the day, she would be able to go back to sleep and forget, even if only for a few hours.
But last night, Jared had robbed her of even that small comfort. Because of him she hadn’t been able to fall asleep until well past dawn. No doubt that was the reason she hadn’t heard him arrive. She wondered how long he’d been there without her knowledge. Judging from the drastic change to the office, it had been a couple of hours at least.
Releasing her hair from her ponytail, she massaged her aching scalp and went in search of Excedrin. Locating the bottle in the kitchen, she downed two. She leaned against the kitchen sink and closed her eyes. God, what a mess. What a complete and utter mess. And what a coward she had been to flee, but there was no way she could stay in that office one more second.
She tried to block out the image of Jared sitting at Steven’s desk, in Steven’s chair.
It wasn’t fair. Everyone told her the pain would fade, that as time went on, she wouldn’t feel it so deeply. But they were wrong. The pain didn’t leave. As weeks and months passed in agonizing slowness, she soon realized a person just learned to do whatever they had to, to get through another day. And for Jenny, that meant avoiding the places and people who reminded her most sharply of Steven.
It hadn’t taken her long to realize she couldn’t work in his office. Everywhere she looked, she saw him. It had been easier to close it off, to fill the space with as much stuff as she could so she didn’t have to see . . . didn’t have to remember. She started running the business from the front room in her home and avoiding the office at all costs. But now all her hard fought for distance was being stripped away, leaving her raw and exposed.
Tears pressed against the backs of her eyes and made her head throb all that much harder. Damn him for making her hurt like this. But she knew the real issue wasn’t the office, it was the man himself. Because no matter how much she tried to fool herself, she knew the truth: it wasn’t what Jared had done that had left her shattered—it was how he had made her feel.
Heat spread through her body again as she remembered how his eyes had raked over her with a boldness that bordered on obscene.
Believe me, sweetheart, it would be a night you’d never forget.
She forgot to breathe as she remembered his words, the way his eyes had darkened with something almost like desire. But she had to be wrong, she realized with painful mortification. She’d never been able to arouse anything more than a lukewarm of wanting in any man—not even Steven.
That thought smacked of betrayal and brought with it a deep sense of shame. What she and Steven had—or didn’t have—wasn’t up for comparison. And how was it that in the space of less than a day, Jared Worth had made her feel and remember everything she’d fought to forget? That scared her more than anything.
Needing to do something—anything—she turned on the kitchen faucet, held her hand under the soft flow, and waited for the old pipes to produce hot water. After what seemed like an eternity, the cold water slowly warmed, and she washed the wineglasses from last night and the few other dishes in her sink. Finishing, she rinsed out the dish-rag and began wiping down the already clean countertops. It wasn’t until she reached the toaster sitting in the corner that she paused.
I like white bread. None of that whole wheat shit.
A reluctant grin tugged at the corners of her mouth. It would serve him