so Friday-faced, my dear? Do not tell me Julian was being a bear to you again when Mr. Decker came to call.”
“He is angry with me,” Jo said. “I have disappointed him, and you, and for that I am sorry.”
“You took unnecessary risks with your reputation. Julian loves you and is frightfully protective. I think his anger stems more from his own sense of having failed you and Alexandra than your actions.” Clara’s gaze searched hers. “Do you care for this Mr. Decker of yours?”
Of course she did. Somehow, along the way, he had charmed her. Although, he was far from hers, wasn’t he? He had never been hers, and if he married her, part of her very much feared he would remain elusive. An enigma.
Jo fidgeted with her gown, uncertainty assailing her. “How did you know you were in love with Julian? Was it sudden, all at once? Or was it gradual? Was it that one day, he looked at you a certain way, or he smiled at you, and something inside you changed?”
“Oh, Jo.” Her sister-in-law’s countenance turned sympathetic. “Are you in love with him?”
“I do not know.” She bit her lip, searching her mind, struggling with the warring feelings within her, so many of them, so new.
“Perhaps we should begin somewhere else,” Clara suggested kindly. “Do you want to marry him?”
Jo’s answer arrived without hesitation, unflinching. “Yes.”
If she were honest with herself, she would admit that even without her brother’s interference and blustering threats, if there was any man she wanted as her husband, it was Decker. He was handsome, charming, and witty. He was protective and considerate. His kisses set her aflame. His sinful side appealed to her in a way she had not imagined possible.
Other men were handsome as well. Lord Quenington, for instance, who was a gentleman who had intrigued her ever since her coming out. But he did not make her feel the way Decker did. She was beginning to suspect no other ever could compare.
“You are certain?” Clara prodded. “Marriage is not the sort of decision one should undertake lightly.”
“You and Julian married in haste,” Jo could not resist pointing out.
Clara flushed. “Our situation was unusual. We were both seeking freedom, and we hurried into our wedding, it is true. But what we found instead was each other.”
Jo knew a pang of envy at her sister-in-law’s words. Oh to have that sort of love herself. She had not realized she had wanted it, but she could see now, that what she had been searching for when she had constructed her list had not been wickedness.
Rather, it had been love.
She had tired of watching everyone else around her find their happiness.
She wanted that happiness, too. The question remained whether or not she could find it with Decker. With a man who had never expressed a single tender feeling toward her.
“When did you know, Clara?” she pressed. “When did your heart tell you it was content?”
“It was gradual,” Clara told her with a soft smile of remembrance. “And then, it was also sudden. All at once. Love is almost impossible to explain, Jo. I feel as if my heart has always known his. Does that sound foolish? As if we were always destined to be.”
That did not sound foolish at all.
Rather, it explained a great deal about the confusing hodgepodge of emotion tangled up inside her at the moment.
It sounded horribly familiar, in fact.
“It sounds wonderful,” Jo said softly. “Thank you for sharing it with me, Clara. I am more convinced than ever that marrying Mr. Decker is the right course of action to take. It was not what I intended when our association began, but…what you just said, about feeling as if your heart has always known Julian’s. I feel the same for Mr. Decker. I did not want to feel anything at all for him, but suddenly, no other man will do. There is him, or there is no one.”
“Then you know what you must do, my dear.” Clara looked as if she were about to say more when suddenly, her expression changed and her hands went to her burgeoning belly. “Oh my. I do think it may be time to send for the doctor.”
She did not need to say the words twice. Jo rushed to her feet, excitement replacing the conflicting emotions darkening her heart. She was going to be an aunt.
“I will fetch Julian and tell him,” she promised Clara.
In a frantic blur, she made her way to her brother’s