“I’m sorry,” he said, sitting back. “I thought we—”
“It’s just that I—” She swallowed, buying time. “I’ve never …”
“Dini, we’re here in a booth in the middle of a bar. And even if we weren’t—I was only going to kiss you.” He sat back, away. “But I’m sorry if I misread.”
“You didn’t misread.” He hadn’t really. “I’ve just never …” Please don’t make me say it out loud. She watched, unwavering, as understanding dawned and he finished the statement.
“Been kissed.”
She nodded, biting the inside of her cheek.
“How can that be?” His question held no shock, no incredulity, but a genuine, curious tone. “Because honestly? That’s pretty much all I’ve been thinking about since the night we first talked.”
It was the perfect thing to say and the perfect way to say it. She leaned in, resting her palm against his beard, and stayed very still. Not frozen, not locked. He touched her again too, expertly bringing her lips to meet his. She’d always been a singular person, and content to be so had anyone asked. The idea of being fitted together with someone, for any sort of physical contact to comprise itself of angles and connection, was more than she could imagine for herself. And yet, as soon as it began, this was no longer her first kiss. That designation would go to Quin’s first attempt. This, she concluded, as he drew her ever closer, would be her truest.
Dini didn’t know how or when to end, but Quin did, and inexperienced as she was, she felt his reluctance as he pulled away.
“I didn’t go to high school,” she said, using her mouth for some other purpose right away before following the temptation to fall into him again. “I didn’t have a high school sweetheart or—anything. I couldn’t have boyfriends. I couldn’t date.”
“Dini, you don’t have to explain anything.”
She plunged on. “And, understandably, my mother kept me away from—well, everybody. Because it’s not the most honorable types who go on magic road shows, you know? And then my parents died, and everything was crazy, and I was hustling for shows myself. And, I’m sorry, but dating was just not a priority.”
“I get it.”
“You can’t possibly get it because you are so normal. You know, except for my parents and Arya, I’ve never spent as much time—as many consecutive hours—with a person than I did with you today.”
“It’s been a great day.”
“Can I keep this?” She clutched the notebook close. “For a while anyway. I want to read every word in it.”
“Of course, but I want to see one more thing.” He took the notebook and ran his thumb along the pages in the back, then held it out. “Here’s the torn page when he sent the note up to her.”
Dini took it and saw, right above the heedless tear, a series of abandoned starts, a line drawn through them, but still highly visible.
Dear Hedda,
Mrs. Krause—
I’ve just come back and I need
Some disturbing truth has come to
“In the end, he just invited her down to supper,” Dini said.
“Speaking of…It’s been a good day, but it’s been a long day. I’m starving. Want to get something to eat? Here, or—choose someplace for my last San Antonio supper.”
She didn’t want to think about that. Didn’t want to leave this moment. Technically, they wouldn’t have to; the bar served nachos and such. They could stay in this booth and eat and talk. Laugh, kiss. But at some point, the time would come for them to part. She to her little bungalow and, tomorrow, he to his home in Virginia. Each hour only prolonged the inevitable. It was best, perhaps, to cut that short. To say goodbye with the feel of his kiss still pleasantly haunting her.
“I think,” she said, not caring to hide her reluctance, “I should just go home.”
“That’s probably a good idea.”
“What? Why?” His acquiescence felt like a sucker punch. Maybe part of her had been hoping that he would persuade her to stay.
He laughed. “It was your idea.”
“I thought you’d try a little bit to stop me.” She pouted, the kind of fake, flirty pout she would never have attempted a week ago.
He took her hand and studied it. “Look, if I had my way, you’d never leave. I wish you could stay here with me all night. Like literally, here, in this booth. Just to be with you, talk to you. Maybe kiss you again?” So he did, smaller and sweeter than the last.