Lady Guinevere and the Rogue with a Brogue - Julie Johnstone Page 0,54
been in charge of the mission and not the object of it. For one brief moment she thought to demand they cease their mission, but she knew they would not. They were watching her, possibly—no, probably—trying to manipulate things, but it was done in the name of friendship, love, and the idealism that was the heart of SLAR. The last thought made her smile. She inhaled a long, slow breath and said, “If you are referring to his lips, to temptation come to call, then yes, he offered and I bit like the wanton strumpet I must be. And foolish!” she cried out. “I must be foolish.”
“Tell us,” they demanded in unison, voices eager and hands grasping her elbows to lead her to the bed.
She looked between them. “Are we not expected?”
“Of course we are,” Lilias said. “There is the foxhunt later, and Kilgore awaits you in the library presently to practice the play he has chosen for the two of you to perform before the hunt. I think you better sort your thoughts—”
“And possibly your heart,” Vivian added, to which Lilias nodded, “before you venture down. I will vow to Mama, without blinking an eye, that your corset gave us trouble.”
Guinevere offered them a grateful smile. “I am adrift in a sea of confusion,” she confessed and then quickly told them what had happened with Asher in the rose garden.
When she finished, both women studied her, and she was unsure what they must think.
“Am I a fool?” she asked. “After what he admitted, after he wed Elizabeth, why do I believe he did not pursue me simply to spite his father? Why do I feel like there must be an explanation for why he was caught in a library with Elizabeth beyond him finding her more desirable than me? Why am I hoping if I allow him to, if I give him the chance, he can explain and he will declare he loved me as I loved him?” Her eyes grew wide, and she covered her mouth with her palm.
“I knew you loved him!” Vivian crowed.
“I knew it, as well,” Lilias said with a smug air. “While you have insisted all these years in referring to how you felt for him as ‘a great tendre,’ I knew it had been much deeper—”
“Much more intense,” Vivian added breathlessly.
“—than you allowed yourself to utter,” Lilias continued. “I suspect you did so out of fear that you would never forget him and find another.”
“And look where I am,” Guinevere moaned. “I’ve not forgotten him. I’m the head of a society to rescue foolish women from themselves, and I’m the most foolish of all!”
“Love is not foolish,” Lilias stated firmly.
“But it is willfully blind,” Guinevere muttered. “Kilgore is quite obviously pursuing me. Would it not be the wisest course of action to allow him to do so?”
Vivian snorted. “I would not use the word wise or allow in the same sentence with Kilgore. You have to tread carefully with him. He’s a wolf who does not even bother to disguise it. For all you know, he could well be pursuing you simply to lead you to sin.”
Lilias nodded. “I, for one, do not believe you can proceed forward with any man until you have answers from Carrington. Has he given you any hints since he returned that his marriage to Elizabeth was for something other than love?”
“He did tell me he learned all of Shakespeare’s works because of me,” she admitted.
“That sounds like a declaration of love!” Lilias said.
Guinevere bit her tongue on agreeing, though the little bubble of hope within her grew. How utterly foolish she would look and feel if she was wrong…
Vivian, more practical by nature than the other two ladies, said, “Did Carrington say anything else?”
She shook her head. “If I allow myself to hope and I am wrong, it will be crushing.”
“Darling,” Vivian said, “I fear you already hope or you would not be hiding in this bedchamber. You have to come out. You have to get answers. And we will be beside you if it is crushing.”
“This is your future. Just think,” Lilias said, that dreamy note back in her voice and her expression, “you could marry for love.”
Guinevere had given up on love, had put it on a shelf and let the idea of it get dusty. She was afraid to take it down and embrace it once more.
Blast Asher! She had to know one way or another.
The moment the library door shut behind Guinevere, Kilgore