We were playing tuble and in my hand I had a two of diamonds, a three of stars, a four of moons, a five of daggers, a sorceress card and a ghost card, the highest hand you could be dealt. It was akin to a royal flush and like a royal flush, virtually impossible to be dealt one on the first round of cards.
I looked at my hand then I looked at my husband’s profile to see his attention seemed devoted to his own but I knew he was completely and totally full of it.
I also knew he was one hell of a cheat.
Therefore, I burst out laughing, slapped the cards on the table and fell forward so my forehead was on my cards. I kept laughing so hard my body was shaking with it and I added my fist banging on the table for good measure.
“How much ale has she had?” I heard Thaddeus mutter and I shot up straight and turned over my hand for all to see then twisted to my husband.
“You,” I poked him in the chest, “are the cheat!” I declared, still giggling into Frey’s smiling face.
It was then, Frey informed me, “You should probably know, my wee Finnie, that Ruben, Thaddeus, Frederick and Ulysses have been dealing you excessively good hands on purpose. The only one not essentially giving you his coin is Laurel.”
My eyes got wide and I swung around to look at the men at the table.
“No,” I whispered, Thaddeus winked at me again, Ruben grinned slowly and Frederick and Ulysses were smiling flat out.
“Why didn’t anyone tell me?” Laurel asked, pushing slightly back in his chair and looking around at the men, his expression disgruntled at being left out.
“Because you’re unskilled at stacking a deck, Laurel.” Ulysses pointed out. “The last time you tried, Gerard broke your arm.”
“Yes, well, that was cheating to win coin for me, this is different and our Winter Princess obviously would never notice,” Laurel returned.
“She’d notice when you dropped the cards on the floor or pulled them out of your cuff, just like everyone notices when you drop the cards on the floor or pull them out of your cuff,” Frederick stated then looked at me. “He’s very bad at trickery, your grace.”
Laurel’s torso shot back in clear affront, his mouth opening to deliver his retort but I got there before him.
“I should hope so and you all should be ashamed,” I declared only to see slow blinks and eyebrow raises all around, all filled with mild shock, even Laurel.
I thought this was strange until Frey’s mouth came to my ear where he said quietly, “It’s the measure of a man, Finnie, how good he cheats. No game is played without trickery. It is the man who can best cheat who wins not only the game but the respect of his opponents. Many complain during the game of being swindled while they themselves are swindling. Others keep aloof and let the cards speak for themselves. And if you’re bad enough and get caught, you may catch something else, like a challenger’s ire. It’s all part of the game.” Then he paused a moment before saying, “I’m sure you know that.”
My body jolted slightly and I whispered my lie, “Of course, I was just trying to be funny.”
“Of course,” Frey mumbled, sounding like he was suffocating a chuckle and his mouth went away from my ear.
I took in the table seeing all the men were still looking at me and I shifted my rear in Frey’s lap as I hurried to cover what was clearly a gaffe. “Obviously, you don’t know that princesses, being princesses, and thus royal, are taught to be fair and trustworthy in all endeavors,” I lied through my teeth. “Therefore I’ve never been taught to cheat. It would reflect badly on the House of Wilde.” I smiled at the group even as I felt and heard Frey lose his fight against his chuckle, something I chose to ignore. “So now you’ll need to teach me.”
“Excellent,” Ruben muttered, grinning at Frey.
“You need look no further than the man at your back, my princess,” Thaddeus stated and my eyes went to him. “Frey has the quickest fingers I’ve seen. You married the master card sharp. I’ve played many a game of tuble or meerkin with Frey and never won a single hand he dealt nor could I ever make out how he does it, bottom dealing, false shuffles, stacking –”
Ruben cut him off to say, “How about all of those and add culling, center deal, second dealing and slight of hand.”
“The Drakkar can’t do them all,” Laurel breathed, his eyes huge. “Not without detection. No one can.”
“By the gods, he can,” Ruben told Laurel, tipping his head to Frey. “Though I’ve never seen it, I know it to be true.”
“If you’ve never seen it, how do you know it to be true?” Thaddeus asked Ruben.
“Because I have never lost a hand to him and I am a far better cheat than you,” Ruben returned, bragging shamelessly about cheating.
“Then why did I walk away with the entire contents of your purse two nights ago?” Thaddeus shot back.
“Because when you’ve had much ale, you never give up, you keep at it no matter how drawn your purse, you won’t let a man leave a table until yours is gone or his is gone and I had a wench waiting for me whose company I preferred to yours. It was either risk standing from the table and you pulling your blade, and I didn’t feel like drawing your blood or dragging your carcass home and dressing your wound, or let you have my purse so I could get to my warm, soft bed and my warmer, softer wench,” Ruben replied.
Oh dear, I wasn’t sure but those seemed like fighting words to me.
Thaddeus’s eyes narrowed and his body got visibly tight. “That is simply not bloody true.”