“I had you, sweetling,” he murmured, using a different endearment, this one old-fashioned and way, way, way too effective. So effective it wiped out the heart lurch and the crawling fear and significantly intensified the warmth in my belly. “Every day and every night, I’ve had you. Until today and tonight. Now, you’re gone.” His hand clenched in my hair gently and he asked softly, “Why have you gone, Leah?”
Something stuck in my throat. I knew what it was but I swallowed it away and pretended it wasn’t there in the first place.
I knew I was lying to myself now but I figured lying to myself was definitely the best way to go.
“I’m here,” I whispered, “right here, where you want me to be.”
His hand went out of my hair and he moved me. He slid me off his body and shifted me so my back was pressed to his front, his arm tight around my waist, elbow cocked, hand pressed flat between my br**sts.
“Remember that,” he said into the back of my hair when he’d repositioned me.
“What?” I asked.
“That here is where I want you to be. For twenty years, I’ve wanted you here.” His arm tensed and pressed me deeper into his body as I felt his face press deeper into my hair. “You don’t wait twenty years for a whore, Leah. You don’t take her shopping for books. You don’t move your clothes in her closet. You don’t take her amongst your people. And you certainly don’t put up with her when she’s misbehaving.”
I decided to focus on the last thing he said because it pissed me off. The other stuff made a lot of sense. It also made my belly feel warm again and I really didn’t need that.
But Myrna wouldn’t get pissed off. Never.
I tamped down the anger and decided to go with resigned.
“So, where does this leave us?”
“Where we’ve always been,” he replied, his voice somehow lighter like he’d not only had some weight lifted but also like he was amused. “But instead of you coming out fighting, you’ve retreated and put up our defenses.”
Oh no.
He had me totally figured out!
He pressed closer and stated firmly, “But I’ll get through.”
Oh no he would not. Not if I had anything to do with it (which I did).
“You’re already through,” I lied and he chuckled which made me want to throw something at him.
Of course, I didn’t.
“I’m not,” he declared.
“You are.”
“I’m not.”
I pushed against his arm, surprisingly it loosened and I turned to face him.
I looked up at him in the dark and I said my next in a whisper, “If you want me to beg you to f**k me, I will. I’ll do anything you want me to do. Try me. I’ll prove it to you. Lucien, you have me.”
I held my breath, not really wanting him to make me do anything he wanted me to do but prepared to do it nonetheless.
His face dipped closer to mine but stopped a breath away giving me the impression he could see in the dark.
“I don’t want you to beg, sweetling. It isn’t about that. That was just a test, which you failed. If you’d let go, just a little bit, I’ll show you what it is about.”
“Tell me,” I urged.
“There are no words.”
“Okay, try to tell me.”