And over beer and pizza, I found myself telling two twenty-four year old girls (I’d found out their ages) everything about my life, Niles, Charlie, my timeout adventure in the mountains and my e-mail.
I did not, however, tell them about Max.
When I stopped speaking and grabbed another slice of pizza, Becca breathed, “Wow, you’re goin’ through a lot.”
“Yes, that’s about it, wow,” I whispered then bit into my pizza.
“So, you aren’t with this Niles anymore?” Mindy asked.
I chewed, swallowed and licked my lips.
Then I whispered, “I don’t think I’ve been with him for awhile.”
Then I suddenly felt tears hit my eyes.
“Oh, Nina,” Mindy whispered back, her fingers wrapping around my wrist.
My neck twisted and I dropped my slice, Mindy’s hand went away and I took a sip of beer.
Then I shared, “You know, the funny thing is, that part doesn’t hurt. Losing him, not at all.” My voice dropped and my eyes went between them both as I asked, “Does that make me a bad person?”
“No,” Becca said instantly.
“I don’t think he’s been with you for awhile either,” Mindy said and went on, “by the sounds of it.”
I nodded my head and told her. “I’m just sad because I care about him and I don’t want him to hurt.”
“Not sure he’ll hurt,” Becca muttered and I looked at her.
“Sorry?”
Becca pressed her lips together, glanced at Mindy then said to me, “He seems pretty clueless. Don’t want to sound like a bitch or anything, but, way it sounds, not sure he’ll even notice you’re gone.”
I had to admit, this idea had merit considering I’d sent that e-mail yesterday, Niles checked his e-mail frequently and I hadn’t heard from him at all. I did tell him I’d call in a few days but I’d also broken up with him. Like Max had said, a man cares, he phones.
And even though I said I’d call in a few days, if Niles cared I broke up with him, he’d phone, my offer to call in a few days be damned.
Ergo, it seemed Becca was right.
Nevertheless, I started, “He’s just –”
“Clueless,” Mindy said firmly.
“But –”
“Listen, Nina,” Becca cut in, “you’re gorgeous, you’re classy, you’re sweet, you dress awesome.” She glanced again at Mindy then went on with a sageness that was beyond her years. “See it all the time, a good woman settles for somethin’ that feels good, in your case, it felt safe, but it ain’t right. This Niles guy might be a nice guy, but he ain’t right. It’s good you realized it before it was too late.”
She’s right, Charlie said into my head and my back went straight.
“I saw you look at me,” Mindy said to Becca and she looked somewhat peeved so I couldn’t focus on the fact that Charlie was in my head again; or on what they’d both just said to me; or on the fact that it made sense and I felt relief, deep down, to have two twenty-four year old girls I didn’t know all that well assuring me I was doing the right thing. Instead, I needed to focus on Mindy and Becca.
“I did,” Becca said honestly to Mindy.
“Damon’s just havin’ a rough time,” Mindy told her.
“Yeah, you’ve said that, like, a million times,” Becca said back.
“Well, that’s ‘cause he is,” Mindy retorted.