After that scene with Douglas, she was shaken and frightened half out of her mind. She wanted to pack and leave but couldn’t because of the children. Wouldn’t, because of her promise to Tammy and Gav.
She was stuck in a nightmare.
And it was all her own damned fault.
She saw her evening bag lying on the bed. She must have left it in the Bentley and Carter found it. She opened it to find that her mobile was telling her she had a missed call.
Or, to be precise, eleven.
And all from Charlie.
She was considering turning it off when it sounded in her hand.
She jumped, nearly dropping it and before she could think what she was doing, she flipped it open and put it to her ear.
“Thank God, Jewel! I’ve been worried sick, I thought he’d killed you!” Charlie shrieked and any other time Julia would have laughed at her dramatics.
“I’m all right,” Julia lied, not wanting to talk to Charlie, not wanting to talk to anyone.
Charlie failed to read her mood. “You just have to tell me what happened! Oliver spent the entire drive home to London, two hours, mind, lecturing me about interfering so I hope it’s good.”
“Charlie…” Julia started and then she couldn’t stop herself, she burst into tears.
Seconds before she wanted nothing but solitude and the time to plan her defence against whatever barrage on her senses and emotions would next come from Douglas. But now she strode to the chaise lounge and collapsed on it, unburdening herself entirely, honestly (and somewhat explicitly), to her friend.
When she finally finished, Charlie was silent.
Julia sniffed and wiped her eyes on the sleeve of her robe “Charlie? Are you there?”
“I’m here,” Charlie stated, uncharacteristically quiet.
“I think I need –” Julia started but Charlie interrupted her.
“What you need, Jewel, is to marry Douglas.”
“What?” Julia gasped.
“Listen to me, darling,” Charlie demanded urgently before Julia could get a word in edgewise, “you may never get Douglas to love you; he just isn’t built like that. I don’t know why but he isn’t. I have to tell you, though, what you have from him is more than I’ve ever seen him give anyone.”
Julia palpably felt these words go through her and was holding the phone to her ear like she intended to graft it there.
She searched desperately for excuses to defend her heart against the words it wanted to hear. “Charlie, I can’t settle for that. And anyway love turns to –”
“No, Jewel, not always, in fact, mostly never. You’ve had tremendously bad luck. I know you had some tough experiences but no matter what Douglas is, and he’s a lot of things,” she noted with her usual bluntness, “he isn’t the type of man who would hurt you.”
“How do you know?” Julia was thinking about the accident Douglas had ordered Sean to have, the gunshot wound he never explained, the two years when he’d disappeared. She remembered his words, “Because I need something warm and soft and alive beside me tonight. Something that smells good and feels good. After what I’ve seen…”
He had secrets, dark ones.
She had no idea what he was capable of and she figured Charlie didn’t either.
“Because he’d never hurt Tammy and to hurt you would hurt Tammy. He had great respect for Gavin too.”
Oh God. She had a point there.
“Charlie –” Julia tried to interject.
“Honestly, Jewel, don’t you understand from what you’ve just told me that even not having it all with Douglas is a damn sight better than anything you’d get from anyone else?”