That was when Nick picked her up, took her to bed and fucked her.
Much later, he left her in his bed, naked, sated, dozing, tangled in his sheets. He retrieved the bags. He stopped paying attention to what he was putting away after he unearthed a packet of thick-cut bacon, a bag of seasoned, frozen curly fries, a jug of canola oil and huge bottle of Ranch dressing.
He made bangers and mash with homemade gravy, flash boiled fresh haricot vert and peas.
They ate in front of the TV, Nick in jeans and a tee, Olivia again in his shirt.
This meant after they ate, they didn’t do any talking. They didn’t figure shit out. He found his hand moving up the inside of her thigh and he discovered no underwear.
So they fucked on the couch. Then moved to the bed.
And Nick fell asleep holding Livvie.
Finally, two days in a row, what he’d wanted for weeks he got.
That being falling asleep doing just that.
And waking up the same way.
Chapter Eighteen
Not to Fit
Olivia
9:15 – Friday Night
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered.
I was chest to Nick’s abs, in his bed, my arms crossed lightly on his pecs, my head tipped back, my eyes to his where he was lounging against his headboard.
He was fiddling with a lock of my hair.
He’d just told me about his mom, his dad and his brother. About how his mother had been a junkie prostitute, Knight born into that, his father a john who fell in love with a hooker.
His father had also been an enforcer, in the life with power behind him both through his fists and the man he worked for. So he could keep her pimp cowed while he pulled her and her boy out and got her clean.
Shortly after he was successful with this, they got married, had Nick and Nick’s dad officially adopted Knight.
“Nothin’ to be sorry for, Liv,” he replied. “I didn’t feel it. I didn’t live that. I was just the asshole kid they made and had to put up with while I figured out they all went through hell to give me safe and normal while all that time I was feelin’ left out they had that bond from the struggle.”
He’d shared that too. How he’d been a jerk to his whole family. To friends. Even to Anya when she and Knight were starting out.
“It’s very wise for anyone to figure that out, Sebring,” I told him. “No one likes feeling left out and you were too young to get that what they shared was not something you’d want to be a part of. They were just your family and you didn’t fit. It hurts not to fit, most especially with family. So of course that’s all you’d feel until you were mature enough to sort that out.”
“I took it too far and it lasted too long,” he muttered, gaze to his fingers twirling my hair.
“Yes, you took it too far but that’s only unforgiveable if it genuinely lasted too long. You’re the man you are now. They know that. You’re in each other’s lives. So it obviously didn’t last too long.”
He looked to me and the warmth making his blue eyes liquid felt like it settled in my soul.
“What’s that about wise?” he asked softly.
That settled in my soul too.
His voice still soft and now gentle, he asked, “You know how it feels not to fit, don’t you, baby?”
We were doing what Nick said we’d do. Taking it easy. Taking our time. Figuring it out. Not pushing it. Just living it. Getting used to each other.