He didn’t proceed cautiously enough.
“Not a twenty-somethin’ asshole with my eye on a pretty girl who’d fall in love with my brother. And back then, when I first knew Anya, you didn’t exist for her. Until you did. Then it was all about you.”
Now Knight didn’t appear pleased. “We don’t have to go over this, Nick.”
“Then don’t talk shit you don’t know, Knight,” Nick returned.
“I don’t know, share with me,” Knight invited.
“Only got it in me to spew that once tonight, brother. Anya got it. She can give it to you.”
His older brother studied him before he repeated, “She’s tied you up.”
“I’m loose.”
“You didn’t get loose for you,” Knight observed.
“Nope. Not for me. Perfect world, she’d be here tonight so I could give Kasha a shot at makin’ her smile.”
“Kash is good at that.”
“She broke through with Olivia, I’d buy her a human-size Barbie car.”
Knight held his gaze and whispered, “Fuck, she tied you up.”
“She’ll never be happy, Knight, I know it. And yeah, that ties me up.”
“You wanna make her happy.”
“She’ll never be happy.”
“You wanna make her happy.”
“Yeah, in that perfect world that doesn’t exist, I’d wanna make her happy. But we don’t live in a perfect world, Knight.”
“I do, certain times a day, those bein’ when I walk over that threshold,” he stated, jerking his chin toward the front door.
He liked Knight had that. Nick had started his life after his father got their mother out of all her shit. Knight didn’t start his life like Nick did, his mother clean and sober and not whoring.
Yeah, he was glad Knight had that.
He was glad his dad found his mom and cleaned her ass up and he was glad his dad gave that to Knight.
And he was glad Anya gave him everything else.
But that was for Knight.
“Some people don’t get that, Knight.”
Knight again studied him before he said, “Get this done. Just take these guys out.”
“They need to hurt.”
“Just take them out.”
“Four and a half years, Hettie’s just a memory. I promised she wouldn’t become that. I failed. I had no choice. I’m human and that happens so I can survive, not be the walking dead, stuck in the past. Deacon taught me that and I learned it. Too good. But I have to finish the job she started. I promised that too. And that’s a promise I gotta keep.”
“Brother, do you have any clue how all the shit you’re sayin’ does not jive? Olivia Shade is wound up in that mess. You take those guys down instead of takin’ ’em out, she goes too. She might not be happy now. But I’ve seen the woman in her tight skirts and heels. She’ll be a lot less happy wearing an orange jumpsuit being someone’s bitch.”