“I need to finish my macaroni salad and make brownies. Wanna help?”
Tod shrugged.
“Sure, you watch Chowleena, I’m going next door to get my gun.”
“Your gun?”
“Hunk of Burning Love is out there fighting a war for you so someone has to protect you. I’ll be right back.”
Tod left to get his gun and I threw a doggie biscuit to Chowleena.
This new turn with Terry Wilcox meant my life was officially f**ked up.
I could have a meltdown but instead I made macaroni salad.
I’d save the meltdown for later…
Hopefully when I was in Grand Lake.
Chapter Ten
We’re in Together-Limbo
Tod and I finished the macaroni salad and made the brownies and because we were both pumped up on adrenalin by being held at gunpoint and shot at, we made chocolate pecan pie. The whole time we did this, I fielded phone calls. Some of them were (obviously bogus) Rosie or Duke sightings, most of them were from girlfriends and the conversations with my girlfriends were all the same.
Question: Was it true, had I hooked up with Liam Nightingale?
Answer: (a hesitant) Yes.
Option: (pick one or multiple choice) Squeal / Shout / Curse / Scream / Shriek (usually the word: Ohmigod!)
Question: Had we done it yet?
Answer: We’re taking it slow.
Then a lot of yelling about what was taking me so long, questions about how Lee kissed (“you have kissed him, haven’t you?”), more resurfacing of the nasty bra-bow rumor, etc. I thanked God that I had such a long apprenticeship at being cagey and a master liar because it sure came in handy.
After all of our grueling activity, Tod and I headed up to my balcony with the phone and an egg timer and collapsed into lounge chairs.
I didn’t trust myself not to fall asleep and get burned to a crisp, so we set the timer and every fifteen minutes we turned.
Unfortunately, we eventually forgot to set the timer, the phone finally went silent and I fell into an unscheduled Disco Nap. Fortunately, I was not the kind of redhead with freckles all over that burned within seconds of the sun touching my skin. Not to mention, I’d re-dosed with factor 8 before hitting the lounge and was already nursing a pretty deep base tan.
I was lying on my stomach and I felt something on my shoulder. I whirled around on my lounge chair and brought my hands up in the karate position that all of Charlie’s Angels used.
Lee was crouched beside me.
“I thought I told you to stay in the house,” he said, his voice was low but not angry, his eyes were on my hands and I could see the corners crinkled in a semi-smile at the sides of his cool sunglasses.
Since I didn’t need to karate-chop him, I dropped my stance.
“I did stay in the house. Then the house got boring and we couldn’t get a tan in the house. Anyway, Tod’s protecting me.”
We both looked to Tod who was on his stomach on the lounge. His gun was unattended on the balcony floor and Chowleena was lying on her side in the shade under Tod’s lounge. They both were fast asleep.
Oopsie.
“He’s from Texas and he’s a drag queen. He has quick reflexes,” I assured Lee.