“Lee! What if I’m pregnant?”
He grinned “Then we’ll make a beautiful baby.”
I yanked my feet out of his lap, stood up and started to jump up and down.
“Ohmigod, ohmigod,” I chanted.
Lee stood and pulled me to him.
“Calm down,” he said but I could tell he was kind of laughing.
“This isn’t funny!” I yelled “We can’t get through a week without having a break. This is too new, too fast, too weird, too much. Ohmigod, ohmigod,” I began chanting again.
This was a serious, life changing moment and I needed Van Halen.
No, no Van Halen wasn’t going to do. This was a Metallica Moment.
I could tell by the feel of his body against mine that he was not kind of laughing anymore, he was flat out laughing.
“Why are you laughing?” I shouted.
“Because you’re cute,” he said, looking at me. “And you’re funny and you’re over-reacting. This isn’t the end of the world, you don’t even know if you’re pregnant and you’re moving in, for f**k’s sake.”
“Why’d you show me the pills?”
“Because if you’re pregnant, we shouldn’t waste time movin’ in together. If you’re not, we should take different precautions and we shouldn’t waste time movin’ in together.”
“Why do I have to move into your place, why don’t you move into mine?”
“I could do that.”
I stopped freaking out and stared. “What do you mean?”
“We’ll put my shit in storage and I’ll move to your place. Doesn’t matter to me.”
I was beyond staring and went straight to gawking.
“What about your view?” I asked.
He shrugged.
“I only have one bathroom,” I said.
“We could make that work.”
“I have a yard, you’d have to mow the grass. I don’t think Stevie will keep mowing my side if you live there.”
“Your yard’s the size of a postage stamp. I think I can manage mowing the grass.”
“It isn’t secure, there isn’t even an alarm system.”
“Vance will put one in.”
“What about the Command Center? I don’t have a room where you can put your top secret PI stuff.”
He started laughing again. “Do you want to move or do you want me to move, make up your mind.”
“I don’t know,” I said, and I didn’t.