Oh my God.
Was this happening?
Hot hit my eyes and he kept right on going.
“I’m not a maximum contact sleeper, Ally. You are.”
I gasped because this wasn’t true. I wasn’t.
That was, not with anyone but him.
Before I could sort that in my head, Ren kept going.
“Never held a woman all night in my arms in my life… until you.”
Oh shit.
I felt the wet in my eyes because I was thinking this was happening.
He kept at me.
“And last night, because I was a f**kin’ dick, I didn’t have you in my arms. I didn’t like that. Even when you thought we were f**k buddies, you gave me that.”
Oh God.
“Ren,” I whispered.
“You want this. And what you want to do means so much to you that you would let me be who I am, look into accepting my faith, love me that much, but walk away. Then you take that hurt so deep, you’re on autopilot, lettin’ out the woman inside you hold close and only dole out occasionally, but give to me. And you do shit like kiss Smithie to say hello when you never would do that shit. It means that much, then you can have it. And me. I’ll worry, but I’ll learn to trust you. All I ask is, when you got my babies inside you, you take cases you know are safe, and once we got kids under our roof, you proceed with the same caution. You with me?”
“I… are you… are you saying…?” I took in a breath. “Are you saying that you’re okay with me starting a private investigations agency?”
“No. I’m not saying that. I’m sayin’ I’ll work at it and try to be.”
Oh God.
I couldn’t stop it. A tear slid out of the side of my eye.
Ren’s hand finally moved from my jaw so it could cup my cheek, but his thumb kept moving in order to sweep away the tear.
But his eyes never left mine as he whispered, “I love you, Ally. I was pissed and worried. Lucky said you had a gun on you and that undid me. You not callin’ and tellin’ me that shit was gonna go down didn’t make things better. You came home and were immediately cool. I was not in a place where I could be cool so I was a dick.” He dipped his head, his mouth touched mine and he kept his lips there when he finished, “I’m sorry, baby.”
Yep. Not only was this happening; it happened.
I hiccoughed back a silent sob and shoved my face in his neck.
Both his arms closed around me. They did this tight and I felt this jaw press to the side of my head.
He was going to give himself to me at the same time take me as me.
This.
Was.
Righteous.
Oh shit.
This was a disaster!