“Now, can we get to the business of findin’ this jerk off?” Tex asked impatiently, looking like he was about ready to come out of his skin.
“You okay?” Sissy asked, voice filled with concern.
No, I wasn’t okay. All of a sudden, my mind was filled with ha**ng s*x with Ren under a warm, balmy, tropical, starry night and they were happy thoughts.
If Luke knew, he’d have a shit fit.
“Yeah,” I lied, taking in her pale face. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” she lied back.
We looked at each other a beat then, even though there was nothing funny and definitely nothing happy about our situation just because we’d survived yet again, we grinned.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Barlow Bitches from Hell
“Shee-it, Kumar, you had the left bower? Why didn’t you take the second trick with that motherfucker?” Tex boomed across my dining room table at poor Mr. Kumar who was not getting the hang of euchre.
Uncle Vito, who was sitting across from me, chuckled and winked. We had won five games in a row as partners.
“I don’t understand this bower business,” Mr. Kumar complained. “How can a jack be higher than an ace? How can only one card of a different suit be the same as another suit? Then jacks are just jacks when they are another color? Then it all changes on the next deal of the cards. This game is too confusing.”
Shirleen walked into the dining room from my kitchen carrying a fresh iced tea. “Of course it’s confusing. First off, you’re only playing with half a deck. Any card game that you play with half a deck has to be half-assed.”
Uncle Vito and Tex cut their eyes to Shirleen.
Uh-oh.
“Euchre is the only card game worth a shit. It ain’t half-assed,” Tex said.
“Give me poker any time,” Shirleen retorted.
“I know poker,” Mr. Kumar put in hopefully.
“Poker is a common game,” Uncle Vito threw down.
Shirleen’s eyes narrowed.
Hell and damnation.
“I’m going to bed,” I announced, getting up from the table.
“You can’t go to bed, it’s best out of eleven,” Tex protested.
I stared at Tex. “In the beginning, it was best out of three then it was five then it was seven then nine, now eleven?”
“We have to win one,” Tex told me.
I looked at the ceiling.
“Girl, get outta my way. I’m gonna kick the shit outta this euchre business. Kumar, you be Vito’s partner. Tex and I are gonna whup some euchre ass,” Shirleen shoved me out of the way and pulled Mr. Kumar out of his chair.
I took my opportunity and headed toward the stairs. “Don’t be too loud. I can’t sleep with noise,” I said over my shoulder.
“Only sound you’ll be hearin’ is Vito goin’ down,” Shirleen informed my back.
I just stopped myself from laughing before I walked up the stairs.