That was when I lost it mainly because I couldn’t take any more. It was actually surprising I’d lasted this long. I looked up at him, not caring that he could see me cry.
I had to get out. Now.
I felt the sad desperation start to subside and anger start to take control and I held fast to the anger.
“Luke, move away!” I snapped but unfortunately my voice hitched on the end.
“Answer me!” Luke thundered and I’d had enough.
“Jules!” I yelled in his face. “Jules! All right?” I shoved at his shirt but he didn’t move an inch (per usual). Of course it was then that I made the humiliating sob sound in my throat but I powered through it. “I heard you call her ‘babe’, I saw you standing close, holding her face, stroking her cheek, just like you do to me. You were looking at her, like… like…” I couldn’t say it and I didn’t have to. It finally hit me that he couldn’t hold me pinned to wall not for another second, not one more f**king second.
“Move, the f**k, back! Right now!” I screamed.
He didn’t move, instead he stared at me, straight in the eyes with that scary, fury-unleashed look.
Then his gaze wandered, down the tracks of tears and something happened just like when he was angry at me when he thought I was yanking his chain and he ended up declaring I was his. At first it flickered in his eyes and then his face began to soften, the fury melting, the electricity sliding out of the room and I had the distinct feeling I was in more trouble than ever.
It was too late for me. I didn’t care what was happening with Luke, I was done. I’d buy more whatever it was I’d leave behind in his loft. I was going, immediately.
With a mighty, superhuman push, I moved Luke back an inch and slid out from in front of him and ran from the room. I kicked the lid closed on my bag and bent double to zip it but didn’t even get my hands on it before I was lifted in the air.
Foiled.
Always, always, foiled. Even when it mattered the most.
Luke settled me in his arms, carrying me like a groom carrying his bride over the threshold. I was still crying, pushing against his shoulders, kicking my legs and struggling like the bride from hell. My struggle didn’t last long. He planted a knee in the bed, dropped me on it and before I could move an inch, he covered my body with his.
Shit!
“Get off!” I shoved at his shoulders, arching my back, bucking my hips. It was like I didn’t move, his face was in my face and one of his hands came to my jaw. I jerked my head away and looked anywhere but at him.
“Did you tell Zano I was thinkin’ of Jules when I f**ked you?” His voice was quieter, softer and even though his complete change in tone took me off guard, I still kept my face averted.
I decided to answer his question. As far as I was concerned, the sooner this conversation was over, the better.
“Ren came up with that on his own. I just told him you were in love with someone else.”
“Ava, I’m not in love with Jules.”
Bullshit, I thought but did not say and kept looking away.
“Fine, great, sorry for the misunderstanding. Now if you’ll get up, I’m going home.”
“Babe, look at me.” Now he was using his gentle, affectionate voice and I had to bite my lip. The tears were still coming but they were subsiding. The Voice would make them come back full strength, I knew it.
“Please get off,” I repeated. “I need to go home.”
His weight settled full on me and his hands came to frame my face, forcing me to look at him.
I was too caught up in my drama to notice the look on his face. I just focused on the next second which would take me to the next second and the next, which would eventually take me home, where I could be safe, renew my vows to my vibrators and never leave my house ever again.
“Jules is pregnant, Ava.”
In a flash, thoughts of vibrators and a lifetime of being a hermit flew out the window and my eyes focused on his.
“What?” I asked.
“Vance told me yesterday morning. It’s early, she doesn’t want anyone to know until she’s further along. Vance didn’t agree. He’s f**kin’ beside himself. He told everyone but Shirleen.”