Right after I had that thought I got angry because I wasn’t the one who cuffed me to his bed and left me there way longer than expected with nothing to do but worry and freak out. I didn’t want or ask to get kidnapped, shot at, manhandled, ordered about, taken to the verge of orgasm twice to be left wanting. In fact, I’d made it perfectly clear I didn’t want any of those things.
Furthermore, he had a scary job where he got called late at night to do scary things. And that scary job or the old “doing crazy shit” one got him that vicious scar slicing across his belly because he sure as hell didn’t have it when he left the neighborhood (I would have noticed or his Mom would have told my Mom). I wasn’t going to ask about it because I really didn’t want to know. Even if I wasn’t sworn off men, I didn’t know if I could hack being with who Luke had become. But I had to remind myself, I was sworn off men.
I just kept staring. The buzzer went. Sissy.
I slid away from him, grabbed my workout bag and headed to the elevator.
When I got in, hit the button and turned, he was leaning against the bar, arms crossed on his (bare) chest, eyes on me.
The doors slid shut.
* * * * *
I spent the rest of the day seeking advice.
Sissy (next to me on a stair machine in the gym):
“I’ve already told you what I think about Luke. In regards to Ren, just tell him you’re with Luke, he’ll back off. In regards to scary guy trying to run us down, just talk to Luke, he’ll take care of it. Simple.”
Okay. No.
Next!
Riley (after my workout and I cornered him even though he still looked pissed off at me, which, I might add, if Luke lost Riley as my friend I’d tack another ten years onto his Ava Barlow Silent Treatment Sentence):
“Jesus, Ava, what the f**k?” he breathed when I shared most of the story leaving out all of the sex stuff and Luke’s brutally honest proclamations. Then his face went gentle and I saw for the first time that Luke was right. Riley wanted to f**k me.
Jeez.
What was going on? How on earth did this happen?
“Do you want to stay with me?” Riley asked.
Hell no!
“Thanks, Riles. That’s sweet of you but I can’t,” I said softly.
Next!
Shirleen (at Fortnum’s, where Sissy and I went after the gym to get one of Tex’s unbelievably divine coffees):
“Child, tune out your head and follow your heart.” Her tawny eyes had gone soft.
Following my heart meant holding onto Luke and never letting go, that was until he got tired of me and scraped me off or he got filled with bullets and killed in a gunfight.
Not gonna happen.
“What are you doing here? I thought you had a day job,” I asked Shirleen. She was relaxed in one of the couches at the front of Fortnum’s where the espresso counter was.
“I’m pickin’ up orders for the boys in the surveillance room,” she said, tossing back another gulp of her cappuccino.
I hoped “the boys” weren’t hankering too much for their coffee, by the looks of Shirleen they were going to wait awhile.
Next!
Tex (while handing me my skinny, vanilla latte):
“Go on vacation…”