Dear Lord.
“Tex is a nut,” I told her.
“He’s sweet.”
Tex?
Sweet?
“You think Tex is sweet? How much hooch have you had?”
“Oh! Gotta go, Tex found his laser lights and we’re gonna play with the kitties. Love you.” Then she disconnected.
I flipped the phone shut and stared at it.
“I think Tex and Mom are on the weirdest date in the history of the world.”
Eddie put down the remote, took the phone out of my hand, slid it on the coffee table next to the remote and then put his hands under my pits and dragged me across the couch, twisting me so I was pul ed over his lap. He pushed me back and he slid out from under me, to his side and came up on his elbow. He rol ed me to my side at the same time he leaned forward, pressing into me, grabbed the remote, his eyes went back to the TV and, with his arm stil around me, he started flipping through channels again.
It was a complicated maneuver but he pul ed it off effortlessly and completely ignored my comment.
I twisted my head around to look at him.
“Eddie, did you hear me? I think something’s happening between Mom and Tex.”
Eddie’s eyes didn’t move from the TV.
“Good. Gettin’ some would improve Tex’s disposition and I figure it’s been awhile for your Mom too.” Eek!
“You did not just say that,” I said.
Eddie found a basebal game and tossed the remote on the table. He looked down at me. “She’s a woman, she’s pretty. He’s a man, he’s gonna notice.”
“He’s not a man, he’s a crazy person. He’s got a shotgun and I think he has grenades.”
“From what I hear, tear gas too,” Eddie’s eyes went back to the TV.
That was it.
I pushed away and got up.
“That’s it, we’re going over… oof!”
Eddie tagged me around the middle, pul ed me back on the sofa and rol ed over me.
“You got enough to worry about, Chiquita. You don’t have to make shit up.”
My eyes widened.
“I’m not making shit up!”
His eyes got warm, his eyelids lowered, his hands started roaming and I had other things to worry about. His mouth started roaming with his hands and I stopped worrying altogether.
“This works out, Tex’l be your stepdad,” Eddie said against my neck, his hand going under my shirt.
I thought about that. It actual y wasn’t a bad thought. Tex was a nut but he was a good guy.
“He’d be a good stepdad,” I said into Eddie’s ear and I slid my hands in his shirt.