In the face of my anger, Vance started laughing.
Laughing!
My body prepared to have a stroke. “This is not f**king funny!” I shouted.
He moved fast, his hands came to my h*ps giving me a swift yank. I flew forward and slammed against his body.
His shaking with laughter body.
Then his arms went around me, his face went to my neck and I felt his laughter there too.
Finally he said, “You wanna break up with me now?”
Oh my God.
He did not just say that.
“What’s your middle name?” I snapped.
His head came up and he was still smiling. “Why?”
“Tell me your middle name,” I demanded.
He kept smiling but he told me. “It’s Ouray.”
I blinked. “Ouray? Like, the town?”
“Yeah. It’s Ute. It means ‘arrow’.”
“Okay, then,” I took a deep breath and let loose, “Vance Ouray Crowe, do not f**king piss me off. It’s my f**king birthday and when I say this is not funny, it is not f**king funny!”
Vance stared at me a beat, that Jules-is-downright-adorable look in his eye.
Then he asked conversationally, his arrogant grin replacing his smile, “Do you think Nick’ll wait for coffee long enough for me to f**k you?”
My eyes narrowed. “You’ve just moved to the top of my list,” I informed him snottily.
His grin didn’t waver. “Your list?”
“My ‘Men in My Life I’m Going to Kill’ List. You’re at the top.”
This time he threw his head back and laughed, full body, full throated, full-on laughter.
When he was finished, his eyes came back to me and he said, “You can kill me after I f**k you.”
“Vance!”
His mouth came to mine and he gave me a soft kiss. “Shut up, Jules. We need to shower.”
“It’s my birthday, don’t tell me to shut up.”
“Nick’s waiting. You can keep yellin’ at me later.”
This was true, Nick was waiting.
I pulled out of his arms and stomped to the kitchen, grumbling under my breath and tightening the sheet around me. “I have to feed Boo. Then we can take a shower. Then we’ll go to coffee. Then I’m gonna call Lee and give him a piece of my mind.”
I heard the bathroom door close and I realized Vance wasn’t listening to a thing I said.