“I am not dressing up like a James Bond character.”
We were sitting in the back room of My Brother’s Bar, a drinking establishment in lower, lower downtown that was decorated in “wood”, had no bottled beer, only beer on tap and had arguably the best bar menu in Denver, including buffalo burgers; hot, soft pretzels with jalapeño cream cheese; and fantastic onion rings.
We’d been there over an hour and had dinner (I got the ticky turkey, a hot, shaved turkey sandwich with jalapeño cream cheese and some delicious orange gunk on a fresh hoagie roll).
Most everyone was into their third or fourth beer. I was drinking diet cola. I wanted nothing to impair my judgment when I sat down with Darius.
The conversation was fast and furious and, as far as I could tell, no decisions had been made.
I was not participating. I’d never had a birthday party with more people than Nick and Auntie Reba in attendance. I didn’t feel I had anything to offer.
Our group consisted of all the girlie gang, including May, Tod and Stevie, and surprisingly Indy’s coffee guy, the humongous, hairy Tex.
Tex also didn’t participate in the party planning discussion.
Hank brought Roxie. Eddie brought Jet. Hank and Eddie didn’t sit with us but positioned themselves in the front room at the bar by the door. Jet said this was because they didn’t have a lot of insight into planning parties. I figured their presence at the bar at all was because I was there, they thought I was dangerous, I was with their women and they weren’t taking any chances. Thus they moved off to stand at the entrance and keep watch.
“Jules, who do you want us to invite?” Indy asked, pulling me from my thoughts.
“Just Nick, my uncle, and Zip, Heavy and Frank,” I answered, wondering if they decided on a theme how any of those men would take to that idea. Not very well, I guessed, and the thought of Heavy in a James Bond-esque costume made me smile.
I came back into the room and saw they were all staring at me.
“Zip the gun shop guy?” Jet asked.
“Yeah, he’s my friend,” I told her.
“Anyone else?” Indy cut in.
I shook my head.
She stared at me. “No one?” she went on.
I kept shaking my head.
“Friends form work?” Roxie prompted and I started to get uncomfortable.
“Let’s move on,” Tex boomed from beside me, saying his first words of the night (except, “Give me a Ralphie Burger and a Bud,” then, “What do you mean, you don’t have Budweiser? Fuck! This is America!”)
Everyone jumped at Tex’s boom, looked at each other and then they started a bewildering conversation about cashews.
This went on for awhile when Tex leaned into me. “You wanna blow this joint, go out, crack together some dealer heads?” he asked in a booming whisper.
The group had moved onto whether they should make a bowl of sangria, pitchers of margaritas or personally created mojitos, which was apparently a very important decision that took all their undivided attention, so they missed Tex’s boom.
I turned to him. “I don’t crack heads very often. I usually slash tires and throw smoke bombs,” I told him.
He stared at me.
I went on. “Sometimes I get creative with plastic wrap and once I doused a dealer’s Mercedes with canola oil. Inside and out.”
At this he grinned. “Bet that took a lot of oil,” he said, sounding impressed.
“Three gallon jugs,” I smiled.
He nodded his appreciation. “You ever want to get serious, I know where to get tear gas and grenades,” he told me.
It was my turn to stare not knowing if he was serious or trying to be funny. I decided he was trying to be funny.