These people were nuts!
“This is just great,” I snapped to no one as Daisy and Jet were grappling for the stun gun next to me, Ava was trying to stay out of their way, Eddie and Jerry kept at it and Tex settled in for the show. “Can’t I have one trauma free night?” I went on complaining (again, to no one).
At that moment, I had a stroke of luck and Daisy dropped the stun gun.
Without thinking and fed up, I bent down, picked up the gun and, Ice Princess in total control, just like I’d done it dozens of times before, I walked right up to Jerry, reached up and touched the hissing prongs to his shoulder.
Hector told me a second would give an incapacitating jolt, three would bring him down. He wasn’t wrong. After the third second, Jerry was at my feet but I was bent over and I kept the stun gun on him even as his body jerked around on the floor with the bolts I was zapping into him.
Around about the seventh second, Eddie pulled me away.
“I think that’ll do it, chica,” Eddie said in my ear, his arm around my waist, my back against his front.
I looked up at him, nodded then looked down at Jerry.
“Tell your lord and master to f**k off,” I said to the blinking but otherwise unmoving Jerry. “I mean it. I’m done with him, done with you, done with that life. You can tell Donny when you see him next to f**k off too. Get this straight, Jerry, tell them both to… fuck… off.” Jerry just kept blinking at me and I decided to take that as his agreement to deliver my message.
I took a deep breath and shoved Jerry and my father mentally aside (for the time being). I turned in Eddie’s arm, it went loose and I smiled up at him, deciding to mix New Nice Sadie with Pretend Happy Sadie and get on with the good part of the night.
“Thanks for fighting for me,” I said breezily. “You want me to buy you a beer?”
Eddie stared at me blank-faced for a second then his eyes went warm and the dimple came out.
What he didn’t do was answer.
“Okay then,” I decided for him in order to move past this latest fiasco (which I had, again, somehow survived and, luckily, so had everyone else). “Beer for you,” I told Eddie and went on. “Shots for the girls. Come on!” I yelled, turned, stepped over the prone Jerry and started to head to the bar.
Then I stopped, turned back around and leaned down to Jerry again. “One more thing. I know I zapped a bunch of your brain cells just now but the word you were looking for has three syllables.” I lifted my fist, shoved it close to Jerry’s face, my fingers flicked out and I counted them off as I spoke, “His… pan… ic, you moron.”
Then I straightened, saw Jet, Ava and Daisy grinning at me but I whirled on a flounce and stomped away on my new motorcycle boots.
I was shoving through the people (not really getting very far) when they parted like I was Moses and they were the Red Sea and Tex’s hand came to the top of my head.
“I’ll take a beer too,” Tex said to me, his hand leaving my head but he didn’t leave my side.
“I’ll buy you a beer. Heck, I’m rich. In fact, I’m totally loaded. I’ll buy everyone in the club a f**king beer,” I answered.
Tex boomed out a laugh.
“She’s not buyin’ the house a round,” Eddie said, materializing close to my other side and making me jump. I hadn’t even felt his approach.
“She’s rich, what’s there to do with money but buy a round?” Tex asked good-naturedly.
“She’s not f**kin’ buyin’ the house a round,” Eddie returned sharply.
“All right, badass, stand down. Shee-it,” Tex gave in.
I would not be denied some form of generous gesture, however. “I’m buying you both a beer,” I told Eddie, stopping at the bar.
“I’m drivin’, no beer,” Eddie looked down at me.
Blooming heck but being nice was not easy.
“Well then, I’m buying Tex a beer and the girls shots,” I returned.
Eddie grinned. “That you can do.”
I gave him the Ice Princess Icicle Ray of Death Glare.