Ricky.
Maybe I wasn’t ready for Ricky to find me just in case I didn’t go unconscious which didn’t, unfortunately, seem to be happening for me.
I pulled myself up to try and escape, lost my footing and I threw my arm out. Luckily, it caught on the handrail. My arm slid around it, holding on, my torso fell over because I couldn’t hold it up, my head hung down because I couldn’t hold that up either.
The rapid footsteps stopped and I felt hands on me.
“No!” I screamed and jerked away from the hands.
“It’s okay. It’s okay. You’re okay.”
The voice was a man’s, not Ricky’s. I couldn’t see him, I couldn’t hold my head up but he scared me all the same.
The hands came back.
“No!” I screamed again, leaned over and hanging onto the handrail like my life depended on it (which, in that instant, I had convinced myself it did) and pressing myself against the wall. “Don’t touch me. Don’t –”
“You’re safe. An ambulance is coming,” the man said, his hands gentle and trying to pull me away from the handrail.
“No. No ambulance. Nothing. Go away. Just leave me here.”
I wasn’t making any sense and I didn’t care. I just wanted to be alone. I’d been alone my whole life, alone and lonely. It was a place I understood. It was a place I could be safe.
I heard a door open and I tensed.
“Fuck,” another man’s voice said as the strength in my arm at the handrail gave out. I let go and slid down, my knees banged against a concrete stair right before my face smashed into another one. My useless arm again didn’t break my fall.
That hurt too.
I didn’t try to get up. I had nothing left in me.
“Pull the Explorer around,” I heard a new voice say right before I was turned gently then lifted.
“Hector –” another voice said.
“Do it!” This was sharp and loud but I didn’t have the energy to wince.
I was being moved quickly, being held against something immensely warm.
“Sadie, you with me?” I heard a weirdly familiar voice say.
“I think so,” I answered.
“Stay with me,” the weirdly familiar voice ordered.
“I’ll try,” I replied but felt myself slipping away.
Before the darkness could overwhelm me, I was jostled, the pain shot through me with renewed vigor, my eyes opened and I made a low, feral noise filled with agony that sounded scary, even to my own ears.
Then I could swear I saw Hector, he was contorting, going in and out of focus.
Then I was settled in his lap but I felt his arm slide up my back and his hand positioned my head on his shoulder, my face in his neck. It was then I closed my eyes again.
“Mamita, staying with me means talking to me.” Now I was thinking it was Hector who was the weirdly familiar voice.
Now, how bizarre was that?
We were still moving but not like before, it was smoother and it hurt a whole lot less.