“Fuck, Roxie,” he said over my head.
I put my arms around him and sucked back more tears.
I hated it. I hated it with everything I was, but I was so right. This Bil y business was going to be between Hank and me forever. I felt anger shoot through my body and if Bil y had walked up just then, I would have ripped his head off.
It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t f**king fair. I hated people who It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t f**king fair. I hated people who whined about what wasn’t fair but if anything wasn’t fair, this sure the hel wasn’t.
A fair life would have brought Hank to me without anything between us.
I took a broken breath, the tears stil threatening. I closed my eyes and pressed my cheek against Hank’s shoulder and I prayed. I prayed for this al to be over soon so I could go, so I could pick up the pieces of my life.
I prayed for Hank too, so he could move on and find someone he deserved, someone strong and smart and good. Someone he could talk to about his day. Someone who made him grin. Someone who liked his dog. Someone who put mulberry-scented candles in his house. Someone who had powdered sugar in the cupboard and cream cheese in the fridge so she could make him better French toast than I’d made; the special kind with the sweetened cream cheese spread in the middle.
Someone who didn’t get shot at.
Someone who didn’t get kidnapped.
Someone who didn’t make him put his fist through a wal .
Someone who hadn’t spent nearly seven years of their life sleeping with a criminal.
Someone better than me.
Hank pul ed slightly away but kept his arms around me.
I looked up at him, pushed my prayers deep down, where he couldn’t see, and I smiled at him.
“Can I cal Vance now?” I asked.
“I’m payin’ him back,” Hank answered.
I sighed.
I sighed.
“Stubborn,” I grumbled, giving in.
A hint of a smile came into his eyes and he rested his forehead against mine. “Sunshine?” he cal ed.
“Yeah?”
“Whatever I saw you thinkin’ just now…”
Shit.
I hadn’t hidden it fast enough.
I held my breath.
“Get it out of your f**kin’ head.”
“Hank.”
“Promise me.”
“Hank!”
“Roxanne,” he used his authoritative voice.