“I thought we decided I was going to do them on my computer?” Ava, unwisely, put in.
“You decided, I did not decide. Place cards need to be handwritten! Everyone knows that! ” Tod shrieked.
The door opened again, the bel ringing over it, Annette came in and shouted, “Yo bitches! Anyone get kidnapped or shot at today?”
Before anyone could answer, Tod turned to Annette and snapped, “What’re you wearing to the wedding?” Annette’s head jerked in response to his attitude slapping her in the face upon entry and replied, “Don’t know, Toddie Hottie. I figure I’l smoke a doobie and it’l come to me.”
Tod’s face got red and I feared his entire head would explode.
“You come to Indy’s wedding stoned, I’l shoot you,” Tod threatened.
“Dude, I only do weddings stoned. It’s the only way to go.
Weddings are boring. Snooze-a-rama,” Annette shot back then turned to Indy. “No offense.”
“None taken,” Indy smiled.
Tod gave up on Annette and turned his glare back to Indy.
“We need a Ful Wedding Briefing. Now,” Tod declared.
“Somebody cal a Hot Bunch escort. We’re al convening at Indy and Lee’s in half an hour.”
“Excuse me but Jet, Al y and Indy are working. We got a breather but any second we could get a crowd,” Tex threw in.
“Who cares!” Tod shouted back. “Weddings take precedence over all.”
“Not when sel in’ boatloads of coffee pays for ‘em, motherfucker,” Tex boomed in return.
“Don’t cal me motherfucker,” Tod threw down.
“Motherfucker,” Uncle Tex boomed.
“Oh lordy,” Daisy muttered.
“Okay, before there’s bloodshed, I just wanna make sure you’re al comin’ to my store opening tomorrow night,” Annette put in. “You gotta come. We’re gonna have crackers and that squirtable cheese stuff and everything.” Unimpressed by squirtable cheese, Tod informed Annette, “No one is going to your opening. Not unless every single response card has been counted, the caterers have been cal ed, we know where every ass is seated at the reception and those places have handwritten place cards and boxed and bowed truffles on their goddamned plates,” Tod snapped then pointed at Indy. “Thirty minutes. Your house.”
Then he was gone.
“Oh dear,” Stel a breathed.
“Divide and conquer,” Daisy charged in. “Indy, cal Lee.
Tel him we need an escort. Jet and Ava stay here, see to business. I’l cal Jules, tel her to bring May as soon as they’re done at work. Indy, Al y, Roxie, Stel a, Annette and me’l go to Indy’s place and get Tod sorted out.” Daisy turned to Annette. “And we wouldn’t miss your opening for the world, sugar.”
“Phat,” Annette smiled.
Daisy’s gaze moved to Stel a. “We’l talk about rescheduling with Dixon Jones at Indy’s. He was cool about you missin’ the meetin’ seein’ as you were kidnapped and al but we don’t want that lead to go cold.” Stel a’s eyes slid sideways to Indy who reached out and gave Stel a’s hand squeeze.
“Let’s get crackin’!” Daisy finished.
I’d spent the afternoon boxing and bowing truffles and arguing with Tod over seating arrangements.
Stel a spent the afternoon alternately arguing with Daisy and Shirleen (via the phone) about Dixon Jones.
A little after five, Jules and May arrived to help.
Around six, Roam and Sniff (two of Jules’s runaways from the Shelter who’d moved in with Shirleen after Jules’s drama was over) showed up with three big Famous pizza boxes.