I didn’t answer but my non-answer was an answer.
“You don’t want them to know where you are.” Mace made another statement and I kept quiet. “You don’t want them to know,” he repeated. “You don’t want them to know so much that you’d sabotage your career by turning down the scouts. Keepin’ yourself secluded here doin’ smal -time gigs rather than lettin’ yourself be what you’re supposed to be.”
I swal owed.
He was digging deep into a place he wasn’t al owed to be. A place I didn’t let anyone visit, not even myself and my trembling body started shaking.
I put my hands to his chest and pushed.
He didn’t budge.
“Move away, Mace,” I whispered.
“You lied to Daisy. You aren’t just scarred. You’re broken.”
I was beginning to breathe heavily.
“Move away.”
Mace changed tactics. “They can’t hurt you anymore.” I felt them then, the tears sliding up the back of my throat, my sinuses tingling.
I swal owed again, this time it hurt.
“Please, move away.”
“I won’t let them. Floyd won’t let them. Fuck, if Hugo heard them say one nasty thing against you, he’d tear them apart. You have people who care about you now, Kitten.
They can’t get at you. You can let it go. You can shine.” For some reason, I said, “They can get at me.”
“Kitten.”
At his soft, deep voice uttering his sweet, special name for me with his face so close, his eyes al I could see, I exposed myself in a way I’d never exposed myself to anyone. Not friends, not bandmates, not even Floyd.
“He can get at me,” I said, so softly I could barely hear myself.
Mace closed his eyes and his hands moved from my neck, down my back and he wrapped his arms around me but he didn’t take his forehead from mine.
I hated to admit it but his arms around me like that felt good.
No, if I was honest, they felt great.
I couldn’t deal with that either.
His eyes opened again and they dril ed into mine. “He can’t.”
I nodded my head.
Mace shook his.
I put my hands on either side of his neck and squeezed gently.
“You don’t get it,” I whispered.
“I get it.”
“You can’t.”
He pressed even closer, his voice got lower and I watched in horrified fascination as something tremendously frightening happened.