“Fuck. Baby –”
I heard the phone jostle then a man told me, “Do it. Text.”
Then I got dead air.
My head hit the steering wheel but I didn’t feel it or see it. My eyes were still closed and tears were streaming down my face.
Baby.
That was burned on my brain too.
Baby.
“Oh God,” I whispered, opened my eyes and stared at my thighs. “If I pull this off, Ginger, please, please forgive me.”
My breath hitched and it did it painfully, burning my throat.
Baby, do not do this shit.
Another sob tore from my throat.
Do not do it, Gwen.
My hands went to the steering wheel and held on.
Do not do it…
My fingers were curled around the steering wheel but I didn’t feel the wheel, I felt fingers curled around mine, my hand was little and they engulfed mine. In my mind, I looked up and saw Meredith with her wedding veil over her face smiling down at me.
Her fingers squeezed mine, warm and tight.
I felt my tears wet on my jeans.
Shit. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t turn over my sister, my Dad and Meredith’s daughter for my man. I couldn’t do it.
I let the steering wheel go and covered my face with my hands as the sobs burned up my throat, so powerful, they shook my shoulders.
“Baby,” I cried into my hands that picture in the Polaroid all I could see against my closed eyelids. “Oh God, baby,” I whispered as my shoulders heaved.
The passenger door flew open, my back shot straight, my head turned and through my tears I stared in stunned shock as Ginger jumped into the passenger seat.
“What the –?” I breathed.
“Drive!” she shouted.
“What?” I asked.
“Drive, bitch, drive!” she screamed.
I blinked then straightened, turned the key in the ignition and shot from the curb.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Commando Woman Lesson One
“Not my gig, Gwennie, but those shoes are hot,” Ginger said through a mouth full of Mustard’s Last Stand, Vienna beef, Chicago style, chili-cheese hotdog.
Mustard’s Last Stand had always been Ginger’s favorite and that was where she wanted to go after escaping her protective custody safe house when she saw my car on the street with me sitting in it having a mental collapse. So I headed to University Boulevard, bought her a chili-cheese dog and then we drove to the Target parking lot on Colorado Boulevard so she could eat it. The whole time to and from, Ginger checked for a tail and declared we didn’t have one.