I was on cosmo four and I was drinking fast, firstly because Hawk hadn’t called back, secondly because I spent the entire afternoon obsessing about the fact he hadn’t called and whether or not I should leave another message and thirdly because Elvira showed at girls’ night in.
Luckily after reading me the riot act for not returning her calls, Elvira was just Elvira. She didn’t get into Hawk, she didn’t press, she didn’t pry, she just dug into Cam’s famous, spicy red beans and rice (well, actually, it wasn’t Cam’s recipe, it was her great-grandmother’s and I tried to get her to give it to me but she said we had to exchange blood transfusions and go through adoption proceedings for her to do that without getting disowned so I just ate hers and considered myself lucky) and sucking back her cosmopolitan so I was free to continue obsessing because Hawk still hadn’t called me. Something I did, barely participating in girl talk until I made my insane announcement.
“I’m actually surprised the meltdown hasn’t occurred before now,” Cam remarked.
“Cam!” Tracy cried.
“Oh shit, woman down,” Leo muttered and I looked up to see he’d come into the room probably to get a beer.
Very bad timing.
“I slept with Hawk again last night,” I told Leo, avoiding directly telling Cam, Tracy or Elvira.
Leo’s eyes got big and he made a strangled noise.
“You what?” Cam screeched.
“Well, all right,” Elvira stated.
“Oh boy,” Tracy mumbled.
“I did,” I told Leo who still had his deer caught in headlights look going. “He came to my house in the middle of the night and –”
Leo’s hand shot up. “Stop right there, darlin’,” he interrupted me. “Last time I looked, I still had a dick.”
“Leo!” Cam snapped and Leo’s eyes went to her.
“And the last time you looked, I had a dick.”
“We all know you have a dick, Leo,” Cam flashed back.
“All I’m sayin’ is, I got a dick and I’m in here for a beer and that means I’m invisible during this discussion. Yeah?” And with that, he got his beer and walked right out.
“I’m sorry about my man,” Cam said irately to Elvira.
“I’m not, girl. A, he’s hot and B, he’s got a dick and C, his not wantin’ any part in girl talk states he knows how to use it. Now,” her eyes swung to me, “movin’ on to the good shit. You slept with Hawk? Word was it was over.”
“Well, it was, then it wasn’t and now I think it is again.”
“Uh… what?” Elvira asked, her brows drawing together.
I sucked back cosmo then I told them everything. Cam and Tracy knew the first part, so I didn’t get into that, I just got into last night and this morning finishing with, “And now I think he thinks I’m a thoughtless, selfish cow.”
I got silence as they all stared then, as usual, Cam spoke first.
“Hate to say this to you,” she straight-talked me albeit gently, “but, babe, sounds like it to me too.”
Great. Just freaking great.
“My God, I had no idea,” Elvira stated, sounding stunned and Tracy nodded.
“Actually this whole week I was thinking it sucked that it didn’t work out but I got why it didn’t, his tragic past and all,” Trace added.
“You did?” I asked her.
“Yeah, Gwennie, but you wanted space so I gave it to you and couldn’t tell you that.”
I stared at her. Then I dropped forward and banged my head against the table again.