“Boards’re done,” Elvira announced, plonking the brie next to the grapes. “Let’s retire to the sittin’ room.”
The girls grabbed the big plates of food and I went to the shelves to get little plates and we all moseyed over to the seating area. Cam and Tracy took recliners. Elvira and I sat at opposite ends of the couch. The food sat on the coffee table in front of us and we all stared at it partially because no one wanted to touch anything without Elvira’s consent and partially because she was right, it was about presentation and she definitely had flair. The food looked great. Good enough to be photographed for a magazine.
“Well?” Elvira asked. “What you all waitin’ for? Dig in.”
We all fell on the food like vultures.
I was shoving a slice of French baton smothered in red onion marmalade, pâté and topped with gherkin slices into my mouth when Elvira observed, “I shoulda bought some of those little spreaders. With the fancy handles. Crate and Barrel had some good ones. You got brie and pâté and kickass stoneware, you need fancy-handled spreaders.”
Hawk’s cement, iron and brick warehouse lair could handle slim-stemmed, sleek martini glasses but I figured it would expel fancy-handled spreaders.
I didn’t tell Elvira this.
Instead, I asked the room (which meant Tracy and Camille since Elvira didn’t really know me), “Do you think I live in my head?”
Tracy and Cam instantly looked across the coffee table at each other.
“That means yes,” Elvira translated through a mouth full of brie and apple wedge.
I looked at Trace then I looked at Cam. “You do?”
“Girl –” Cam started.
“It’s okay,” Tracy said quickly. “We all do what we need to do to protect ourselves and you need to live in your dream world.”
“I don’t live in a dream world,” I said but this wasn’t true. A lot of the time I did. It just wasn’t all of the time. “I live my life. I go out. I have fun. I put myself out there.”
“Leo calls you Queen Crash and Burn,” Cam announced and my eyes went to her.
“What?”
“Queen Crash and Burn. You get all dressed up, go out, smile, chat, flirt… then it’s all, ‘Hey! Great talking to you! Later!’ No number. No nothin’. They think you’re into them and they’re gonna get them some and off you trot and you don’t look back. Queen Crash and Burn.”
Uh… wow.
“I do that?” I asked but I knew I did. I didn’t know I did until just then, having it pointed out to me, but when it was, I knew I did it.
“Totally,” Tracy confirmed on a whisper.
“Did Delgado say you lived in your head?” Cam asked and I nodded. “Why?”
“We were having a… discussion. I told him I needed to think about what he’d said and then he said I didn’t need to think, I live in my head, I shut things out. He says I haven’t given him me. He says I have a hand held up, fending him off,” I answered.
Tracy and Camille’s eyes went back to each other.
“See you do that too,” Elvira noted.
“I’m open and friendly!” I declared.
Cam sighed, sat back and took a sip of cosmo.
Preparing me.
Oh shit.
Then she stated, “Babe, I know you’ve had a lot goin’ on the last week but have you had a chance to think about what’s gone down with you and Delgado?”
“Yes,” I replied instantly. “I think about it all the time.”