Billy had been telling me about “that guy” for a while and Billy had good instincts so I figured whoever “that guy” was, he wasn’t a good guy.
Billy kept talking. “And we didn’t have any food. And he was passed out. And he didn’t have any money in the whole house so I could go get us something to eat. Billie was hungry.” His eyes turned to mine. “We have to eat.”
“Like we talked about last time, you don’t have food, you need something or you get freaked out, you call me,” I reminded him.
“Yeah, right, I’ll call you but on what phone? His cell didn’t have any charge and he hasn’t paid the bill so even if it did, it wouldn’t work. And they turned off the house phone months ago. You know that.”
Shit. I did. Damn. I knew about the house phone, though it was news about Bill’s cell.
Damn again.
“I’ll get you a cell phone,” I told him. “You can hide it and –”
He straightened, looked me right in the eye and I braced for what he was going to say next because he had that look about him that always made me brace. “Auntie Mara, Dad steals from us. You know that locket you gave Billie for her birthday last month?”
Oh no.
He read my face and nodded. “It’s gone. I didn’t want to tell you because I knew you’d be upset but it was gone like the next day. Dad convinced Billie she lost it and she cried for like an hour. She loved that thing. Said it was the prettiest thing she had.”
It was the prettiest thing she had. Bill barely kept the kids clothed. All the clothes they were wearing, including their shoes, I bought them before school started months ago. And I had noticed both of them were growing out of them.
I clenched my teeth and looked away.
“He stole it,” Billy went on, “because he’s a big dick.”
I looked back at him. “Billy –”
He suddenly and uncharacteristically lost it, slammed his fists into his knees and shouted, “He is!”
My heart started beating wildly, my eyes filled with tears I blinked away and I lifted my hand to curl it around the back of his head.
I knew how he felt. God. I knew exactly how he felt. I hadn’t felt it in a long time but if you knew that feeling, you never forgot it.
I knew that feeling. It lived in me.
I pulled him to me as I bent to him and rested our foreheads together. Shockingly, he let me do this but I figured he did because he was suddenly breathing heavy and concentrating on fighting it.
“Billy, honey,” I whispered.
“I hate him, Auntie Mara,” Billy whispered back. I heard his breath hitch and I understood the breathing heavy. He was close to tears.
“I know.” I was still whispering.
And I did know.
“I hate him,” he said quietly and passionately while his breath hitched again.
Oh God. God, God, God.
I knew what I had to do.
God!
“You know I love you?” I asked him.
His eyes slid away. He pushed against my hand at his head. I let him move away but I wrapped my arm around him anyway; slid him across the back of the bench so the side of his body was pressed against mine. Shockingly, he didn’t fight this either and leaned into me.
“I know,” he replied.