I hoped so.
I nodded against his shoulder.
His arms gave me a squeeze as his fingers at my behind dug in gently.
Then he said quietly, “I believe you but I wanna make it clear. Shit might go down between us that’ll make this go bad. You don’t leave until we both know there’s nothin’ we can do to retrieve what we had. And if you believe that and I disagree, then you talk to me before you leave me. You might hear f**ked up shit about me from a variety of sources. But you talk to me before you react. I will confirm or deny, I will be honest and last, I will explain. If it’s shit I don’t want you to know yet, I’ll explain that too and you’ll wait until I’m ready. You feel you can’t, then, babe, you still f**kin’ talk… to… me before you leave me.”
I nodded against his shoulder again.
Knight kept talking.
“You can believe about ten percent of anything that comes outta Nick’s mouth. This will not be somethin’ you need to concern yourself with because you will never see him again. If the impossible happens and you do, I don’t care if you’re walkin’ down the street, he’s across the street from you and a half block up, you f**kin’ call me. Get me?”
Another nod.
More from Knight.
“I do not give charity f**ks. I don’t know what he said to you but honest to Christ, I don’t even know what that is. Bottom line, no one, Anya and when I say that,” his arms and hand gave me another squeeze, “I mean no one has had my time, my attention and my c**k the way you do. And you don’t have those because you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on. You have that because you’re everything that’s you. Somethin’ in you made it easy to believe the bullshit Nick fed you. We gotta work that out, babe, and with that project, I’m all in. But there is no… fuckin’… way a woman like you, not just one who looks like you, but a woman like you should ever think in a million f**kin’ years she’s a charity case. You need to understand, baby, that in this scenario right here in this bed no matter whose ass is tender, I’m the lucky one. You with me?”
At the word “lucky” my head jerked up and I stared at his shadowed face.
“What?” I breathed.
“You aren’t with me,” he muttered.
“Are you serious?”
“Are you comfortable with the fact that my boys roughed up your landlord?”
My body stilled and I whispered, “Honey –”
“Answer me, babe, are you comfortable with that?”
“Can we –?”
His hand came to my jaw and his arm around me got tight, pulling me closer and he whispered, “Anya, babe, answer me.”
“No,” I blurted.
“But you’re settin’ it aside because you’re drawn to me and I’m makin’ you happy,” he surmised.
“Yes.”
“Then babe, I’m the lucky one because with you, I’m not settin’ shit aside. And with me, I think you already get without really knowin’ that you always will.”
My hand slid up his chest and I whispered, “Honey, let’s not talk about this.”
“Bury your head, baby, please, God, do it. But straight up, you give me good, normal and clean and you do it knowin’ you’ll never get that back. I’ll take that. Fuck, yeah, I’ll take that. But I’ll only take it knowin’ somewhere inside you, you get what you’re givin’ to me and you understand it’ll never be returned.”
“You’re scaring me again, Knight.”
“Enough to ask me to leave?”
“No,” I whispered and his hand clenched my jaw.
“Christ, my baby,” he whispered.
I didn’t want to talk about this anymore so I changed the subject.