He studied me.
Then he murmured, “My smorgasbord of pu**y.”
“Yeah.”
“My smorgasbord of pu**y,” he repeated, still murmuring.
“Yeah!” I snapped somewhat loudly.
Knight burst out laughing.
I watched thinking he really looked good doing that. I was also thinking I wanted to find one of my frying pans and clock him with it. I was also thinking I just might cry. And, lastly, I was wishing my apartment was bigger so I could go somewhere, lock the door and throw a tantrum, scream, sob or all of the above.
His laughter died down to a chuckle and he ordered, “Come here, babe.”
“If I don’t, will you spank me?” I shot back.
His face got serious and he replied shortly, “Yes.”
Damn.
I stomped to him.
He turned to me, pulled me in his arms and held me close.
Then he dipped his face close and asked quietly, “You been lookin’ into me?”
“No,” I answered sharply. “Vivica has. And beware, Knight, she’s protective, crazy and as tenacious as you. She loves me. She knows everything about me. She wants me to have a good life and she does that in a way where I could swear she wants that more for me than she does for her own damned self. So her normal extreme curiosity, when it comes to my future happiness and those who might or might not be giving it to me, ratchets up to ludicrous. Though, that said, she’s already given you her seal of approval and since that seal isn’t a seal so much as a brand burned in so the scar never heals, I think you’re good. Unless you’re a terrorist which, she’s informed me, is the only reason why she’d stop loving you for me.”
That was a lot, too much, but I still didn’t shut up, I was that angry.
“Oh, and, if you don’t play me, she’s naming her first son after you.”
That was when I shut up only to see Knight smiling white and blinding at me.
Then he asked, “You done?”
“Yes,” I clipped.
“You wanna tell me why you’re so pissed?” he asked.
“No, but you won’t let me not do it so I will in order to avoid Knight Hassle. No way, in my life, would I be able to afford a phone like you gave me. The dresses either. The shoes, any of it. I came home to those bags, Knight, and I didn’t think of returning it like the phone because I let you in. All I thought was never, never in my life, would I ever imagine myself standing in my living room with my couch I got for a steal because it was on sale and had a rip in the cushion, my yard sale coffee table, my dinette a friend gave me, and see strewn across it luxurious beauty that someone thought enough about me to give to me. My parents died when I was seven but they weren’t millionaires. Our life was good. It was loving. It was happy but I’d never been spoiled. You spoiled me and if it happened once or a hundred thousand times, I know I’d never get used to it because I never in my life expected it. Each time would be a treasure and that treasure would not be the stuff you gave me. It would be that you gave it to me. And, Knight, that’s because since my parents died, I learned not to expect anything. Life was going to be what I made it, what I worked for it to be, what I earned. So that moment was beautiful to me and you sullied it by intimating that I was using you and I’m pissed because feeling pissed is better than feeling hurt which is really what I feel.”
His arm left my back so his hand could cup my jaw and his face came close as he whispered, “Baby.”
Without delay, I snapped, “I don’t understand what’s between us or how I can behave or if I can even be mad but just so you know, right now, I don’t want you to be nice to me and I don’t want you touching me.”
“Not gonna give you that, Anya,” he said gently.
Figured.
I looked away and blew out a sigh.
“Babe, look at me.”
I looked back, rethinking this situation because when I was pissed or hurt or whatever, I wanted to be able just to be me.
“You, Anya, are a woman who needs a dog, a house with a white picket fence, one boy, one girl and a man who worships the ground you walk on, thanks God every night he was f**kin’ lucky enough to con you into lyin’ your head on the pillow beside his but still watches football on Sundays. You and me stay the course, you are never gonna get that from me.”