But he wasn’t. I knew this instantly when I heard the club sounds in the background so loud I could barely hear him. And his first words were a short but succinct description of the fact he’d had “shit come up all day” and he had little time to talk right then but wanted to “connect” with me. The growly factor of his voice was at the upper levels in my limited experience so I knew this was frustrating as was the fact our current conversation had to be short, hurried and, on his part, growled very loudly.
Now it was an hour and half until quitting time, not even twenty-four hours since his last call which, in the Jerk Player Handbook garnered severe penalties unless you weren’t a Jerk Player.
I took the call, put it to my ear and said softly, “Hey.”
“Hey, baby,” he said softly back and that tingle hit my spine and spread north again. Then it stopped when he asked bizarrely, “Who’s Dick?”
“Pardon?”
“Dick. Who is he?”
“Uh…” I mumbled, thrown by a question I didn’t understand and thus not knowing the answer.
“Neighbor, babe,” he clarified.
“Oh,” light dawned, “Dick.”
“Yeah. Dick. Who is he?”
Suddenly I thought our conversation was not only strange but funny.
I didn’t share this. I just asked, “How do you know Dick?”
“I don’t know Dick but that isn’t what we’re talkin’ about. We’re talkin’ about how you do.”
“He’s my neighbor. He lives across the hall from me,” I explained.
“A friend?”
What was this about?
“Uh… no. And now I know you don’t know Dick because if you did, you wouldn’t ask that. Now, why are you asking about Dick?”
“Sent some shit to your house. Last time with the phone, sent Kathleen. She’s got it goin’ on but she’s got so much goin’ on, sometimes she doesn’t pay attention to outside shit. She said the call system was reactivated and she just kept hitting directory buttons until someone picked up and would accept delivery. Since she was busy, she didn’t pay a lot of attention to who accepted it. The boy I sent with the shit today did the same but he’s a guy and for certain things, guys get unbusy. He got Dick so he got unbusy seein’ as he did not like Dick. He also did not like how excited Dick got about accepting a delivery for you. Luckily, some guy called Charlie came up while my boy was gettin’ acquainted with Dick, said he was the maintenance guy, had a passkey and would put the shit in your place. He told Dick to take a hike and after Dick took off, Charlie told my boy that if he had more stuff for you that he should not, under any circumstances, hand it off to Dick. Then he gave him his contact details as well as a list of people in your building who he would trust to take deliveries. My boy reported this to me so I’d like to know about Dick.”
God I loved Charlie.
And I also wondered what “shit” Knight was delivering.
I wondered too long, clearly, and I knew this when Knight’s voice came at me impatiently, “Anya. Clue me in on Dick.”
“Dick is that burden every single girl living on her own in a slightly seedy apartment complex endures. He’s the creepy, out of work neighbor who lives across the way.”
“He make you uncomfortable?”
“Uh… yeah. He’s Dick.”
“Then it’s time Dick moved.”
My body went completely still but somehow I managed to get my mouth to force out, “What?”
“It’s time… Dick… moved.”
His smooth deep voice was not firm.
It was steel.
“Knight –” I whispered.