Still, it was part of him and I wanted him.
All of him.
So I informed him, “I can hack it.”
“You can’t,” he informed me.
“I can,” I reiterated.
All of a sudden, his mood turned heavy and his voice got hard. “You can’t, Cassidy.”
That didn’t sound good, either.
Not at all.
And I was sensing it was time again to tread cautiously.
That said, I still had to tread. My future with the man I was falling in love with depended on it.
“You’re still gonna have to give more of you to me,” I said carefully.
“I will.”
“Starting now,” I warned.
“Give it to me,” he invited.
“Okay, when’s your birthday?”
“You’re into that shit and need to celebrate, pick a month, make it in fall, and we’ll be good.”
Was he being serious?
“You’re not gonna tell me?”
“Can trace a man with a name and a birthdate, woman.”
He was being serious and the way he was doing it I didn’t like all that much.
“So, what you’re saying is, I’m never gonna know you.”
“Man you could know is dead,” he returned brusquely. “A man’s dead, no use knowin’ him.”
“Right, are you gonna explain that?”
He didn’t speak.
It was safe to say my mellow post-three-orgasms mood was escaping me.
“But you want me to have Deacon,” I pointed out. “And that’s you.”
“Your Deacon is not the Deacon I used to be. He’s just yours, nobody else’s.”
Something about that freaked me.
“I take it you’re not gonna explain that either,” I noted.
“Nothin’ to explain, what I said said everything you need to know.”