“We weren’t. We are now.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Stop being smart and logical. It’s annoying.”
He threw his head back and burst out laughing.
I turned away and sucked back beer.
“Sylvie,” he called when he finished laughing.
“What?” I answered the window.
“Look at me.”
I looked at him.
His eyes moved over my face then his hand came up to rest against the side of my head and his thumb moved over my face as he watched it. Then his hand slid down my neck, my chest to press flat where my heart was beating.
“Some people get to live life. Some people survive it. We’re survivors. We can carve out our pieces of happy, and, I swear to God, baby, right now, you got my vow, for you and for me, the rest of our lives, I’ll bust my ass to carve our piece of happy. But we’re foolin’ ourselves if we think we can set aside the shit that happened to us, the shit done to us, the shit we’ve done, and move on. It’ll be with us forever. We just gotta learn to live with it. We bury it, deny it or pretend it isn’t there, we’re f**ked. It’ll surface and tear us to shreds. We acknowledge it and keep on keepin’ the f**k on, we’ll be good.”
“You hurt a good woman,” I noted cautiously.
“Not then but now, I’m glad it happened and it’s done. Because, if I was still tied to her when I got up here and found you, I’d get untied. Doesn’t say much about me but I’ve come to terms with the ass**le I am. What it does say, is what you mean to me. So, it’s good it happened and it’s over. I’ll hang onto that as I carry that weight.”
That was as beautiful as it was horrible.
Life.
Or life as Creed and I knew it to be.
My eyes went to his throat and I whispered, “I killed a man.”
“You saved a life.”
My eyes went back to his. “What?”
“In my business, I’ve killed two. Both of them, I remember. Both of them stick with me. It is not for me to judge if they deserved to live or die but, in the situations we were in, it was them or me. I saved me. You saved you. I did not deliberately hurt Chelle but I did it all the same. That’ll stick with me. You killing that animal, that’ll stick with you. You may not be grateful that it’s with you but I am because it means, right now, you’re with me.”
I stared into his eyes and said quietly, “He deserved it.”
“Your call. You lived his shit. Way you tell it, I absolutely f**kin’ agree.”
I bent my neck and rested my forehead against his jaw.
Creed’s arm tightened around me.
My eyes to his throat, I asked, “So, what are your plans for our piece of happy?”
“One day at a time. That day starts with me wakin’ up beside you in bed, that’s my piece of happy. I’ll find yours and make sure you get your piece.”
What he said worked for me.
I pulled in a breath.
Creed lifted his bottle to his lips and sucked down beer.
Then I gave him everything.
“I’m terrified out of my mind.”