There it was. The reason she was telling me this.
She wanted me to intervene.
I had to put a stop to this and pronto.
“Right,” I began, “this is new, for you, him, me and we gotta feel this out as we go along but I can say at this juncture I’m uncomfortable with being a Creed, Chelle go between. If you’re here to corral me into helping you two work out your issues, just saying, again giving you the honesty, I got enough to deal with right now with Creed back in my life, things at home at the same time hoping your kids like me. I can’t be that for you and I’m not sure I ever want that role. If you want it, you gotta do it yourself. I’m not saying I don’t want to be involved in things as they crop up down the road. I’m going to be a member of this family and, babe, not to hurt you but Creed and I’ll be building our own. But I get there will always be a Creed and Chelle that raise two great kids and although you got your man and Creed has me, you two have to keep your shit together so you can do your best job raising those two kids and that doesn’t involve me. It doesn’t involve your man. It involves you and Creed. You with me?”
She studied me then replied quietly, “I’m with you, Sylvie.”
I nodded then continued, “We got a job, you, me, Creed and your man, to be cool always for your kids. You probably know Creed had a revolving door of father figures and my stepmom was a loser. No kid deserves that and I never wanna do that to a kid, especially not kids that are Creed’s. So let’s find ways to figure that out so they don’t feel this and just know they have a lot of love centered around two great parents who want the best for them.”
I saw her eyes warm before she told me, “I think we can do that job.”
“I know we can,” I returned.
She held my gaze then nodded before saying, “I’m glad you feel that way, Sylvie, because that’s the way I was hoping it would be. Every, uh… ex-wife who’s a Mom always fears when her ex finds another woman and what that will bring. I’m pleased it brought you.”
I grinned again and stated, “You trapped him or not, babe, he got you pregnant so he did choose you so let’s just say Tucker Creed has good taste.”
She grinned back. “Yeah, let’s say that.” At my nod, she finished, “I should get going.”
“Later, Chelle.”
“’Bye, Sylvie.”
She turned to go but I stopped her by calling her name and she turned back. “Just out of curiosity and if it’s personal between you two, you don’t have to tell me but why do you call him Tucker?”
Her brows drew together and she said, “I was wondering why you called him Creed. Only people on the job call him Creed.”
Strange.
I decided, since he hadn’t shared, I wouldn’t so I just said, “Throw back from the old days.”
“Ah,” she mumbled but I got the sense she either didn’t get it or didn’t believe me but she let it go with a, “Well, see you, Sylvie.”
“Yeah. See you, Chelle.”
She took off.
I waited for a bit before I left the room to check out. I wasn’t going to tell Creed about Chelle’s visit. Not yet. I didn’t know what his response would be and I didn’t want to piss him off or upset him when he had his kids. There would be plenty of time to tell him and not ruin the last hours he’d have with them for two weeks.
Instead, I shook it off and took on Phoenix.
* * * * *
“She calls you Tucker.”
Creed and I were back in Denver, at my place, in the back room and I’d just told Creed about Chelle’s visit. I was sitting on the couch, Creed was standing at the window staring out, partaking of one of his rare cigarettes (he was trying to quit, he was also trying to talk me into doing the same) and blowing the smoke out the screen.
I waited until we were not on the go or in a public place to share about Chelle. Once I’d shared, he’d gone to his bag, grabbed his smokes, came back and lapsed into brooding silence, staring out the window.
I let him have some time and did this studying him.
It had been a long time since I’d seen this Creed.
Back in the day, we both knew our clandestine time together was precious so we made the most of it. It didn’t happen often but he had a lot on his mind back then, us taking off, what would become of his mother when we were gone, what would become of us. So he could go quiet, retreat into his head, think thoughts he didn’t want to share. I knew this because I asked him to share and he didn’t, no matter how I tried to break through. Eventually I learned that I didn’t need to try. He would sort out what he needed to sort out and come back to me.
Watching him, it struck me that it might make me a freak but I missed this and I suspected he hadn’t changed. He’d sort it out without me prying, let me in when it was his time and I just needed to roll with it. So I didn’t change how I dealt with it and let him have his time.