He was right. I knew. I knew, back in the day, he was acutely aware that I had an in-ground pool, a stable full of horses, a fancy car, a huge house, a housekeeper, all provided to me by my piece of shit Daddy and if I hooked my star to his, at first, he couldn’t give me any of that.
I didn’t care. He was right earlier. That was a trap from which I would move, after he left, to a prison.
But Creed was a man, all man, even back then and he didn’t see it that way. Not then and obviously not now. He never wanted me to feel loss. He never wanted me to have any reason to regret choosing him and no matter how much I talked, how hard I tried to convince him I didn’t need any of that shit, he didn’t believe it. I was young and he was worried following my heart was blinding me to reasonable life considerations an older person would take into account.
He was wrong then.
He was wrong now.
“You know, I’m a different Sylvie,” I stated quietly.
“I know, baby.”
“I can take care of myself.”
“I know that too.”
Okay, now I was confused.
“Then… what?”
“My house. My furniture. My housecleaner, pool guy, gardener. Your body in my bed,” he replied.
I didn’t get it.
“What?”
“I take care of you,” he answered. “I provide for you.”
Uh-oh.
My body stiffened over his.
“Creed –”
“You work. You earn. You enjoy yourself. You do what you like. You buy me shit if you want. But I provide, Sylvie.”
“That’s crazy,” I told him.
“It’s what you just agreed,” he told me.
“Okay, but it’s crazy.”
“It isn’t.”
“It is,” I shot back. “I’m not seventeen and depending on you, Creed.”
“Right,” his voice was low and leaning toward angry impatience, “I get you. I get we lost that time. I get you’re not seventeen anymore and you can take care of yourself. And I get that maybe to you it’s crazy but what you need to get is it’s what I f**kin’ need.”
He meant that. He needed it.
Oh God, they messed him up. They messed us up. They f**ked everything up even beyond what we already knew.
My voice was softer and my body relaxed into his, my hand coming up to wrap around the side of his neck when I said, “That was a long time ago, babe. I’ve lived. I’ve changed. You have, too. We’re doing this, going forward in life together. I get what you’re saying but we’re both different and we’re different in good ways. We should embrace that.”
“You’re giving up Charlene, the kids, your partner’s family and Knight to be here with me. That’s your part. I take care of the rest.”
“Please don’t do that.”