And just as instantly as that relief settled through my chest, it occurred to me why.
Right there, in that restaurant and for the foreseeable future, I was back where I started, depending on and thus controlled by a handsome, wealthy, powerful man.
But that didn’t mean my life wasn’t new.
I’d never given much thought to my name, after, of course, I grew up. It was unusual and growing up with an unusual name, kids sometimes being mean, well, it sucked.
After that, it was just a name. A name my parents gave to me and after I screwed up royally and married Pol, it was the only thing I had left of them.
But I’d screwed up royally. And when it finally dawned on me that I was in a very bad situation and it was getting worse, I’d left Pol.
And my father had told me not to come crying back to him when I figured it out.
Of course, when I figured it out and needed safe haven, I went crying back to him.
Literally.
He shut the door in my face.
Twice.
And he, and Mom, had hung up on me. And they’d done it so many times, I’d lost count.
Who did that to their daughter?
I’d f**ked up, definitely.
But to shut me out forever just because I fell in love with the wrong man and made a stupid, headstrong decision at the age of twenty-three?
“Ilsa?” Apollo prompted and I jumped, coming out of my thoughts and looking to him.
“Do you have the name Madeleine in this world?” I asked.
“Yes,” he answered.
“Then that’s who I’ll be. Madeleine. Maddie,” I declared, and his brows drew slightly together and his gaze grew more intense as I did it.
I knew why.
It was a declaration. Firm. Definite. Inflexible.
It didn’t exactly need to be that strong a declaration.
But it absolutely was.
Once I’d made it, I wanted to cheer. To get up and dance. For some reason, it felt like I’d slithered out of old tired worn-out skin and been born anew and I had so much energy and excitement bubbling inside me, it was hard to keep my seat.
“Madeleine,” he murmured, again capturing my attention, and his rich deep voice smoothing over that beautiful name sent a shiver sliding up my back.
Crap.
Maybe I should have picked Agnes.
On that thought, he surprised me by remarking, “You’ve noted they knew her here.”
I rolled my lips together and nodded.
“She was here often. I’ve also been to this village more than once over the years,” he continued and that confused me.