So much more, it was devouring me.
And I didn’t mind fading into it.
That shook me too.
My fingers tightened into his forearms and I answered, “Yes, I’m happy, Apollo.”
He said nothing for long moments. He just held me intimately, pressed close, both of us on our knees.
Finally, he broke the silence. “You’re seeping. I will wash you and we will sleep.”
“Okay,” I agreed.
That got me another squeeze and a kiss on the neck.
Then he moved away to settle me gently in the bed and he bent to brush his lips on my jaw before he left me.
Then he set about undoing me.
And he did this by washing me, sliding my nightgown on me, smoothing his hands over the material then joining me in the bed, pulling the covers up to my shoulders and gathering me close, tangling me up in him. He did all this tenderly, with that look I felt in my belly and around my heart on his face.
He also did it like I was breakable, but precious.
Cherished.
No one had touched me that way.
Not in my life.
He held me tight to him as he rolled side to side to turn out the gas lamps beside the bed, leaving us with nothing but the firelight.
When he settled us on our sides, he drew me even nearer and I felt his lips at the top of my hair.
“I tell you now, my poppy, for years, I never thought I would again be happy. Never again.” He tucked me closer and finished on a rough whisper. “So I never imagined I could be happier.”
At his words and all they meant, my heart slammed in my chest, but I burrowed deeper, shoving my face in his throat, unable to say anything. Only able to feel.
“Sleep, Maddie,” he murmured.
“Okay, honey,” I forced out.
I felt his lips leave my hair and he kept one arm around my shoulders, holding tight while the other one moved down my back to smooth over my bottom, cupping me there lightly as if he wished to sooth the warmth that his hand left there. Warmth I didn’t mind in the slightest.
I should have slept. Everything I knew, everything I’d learned, everything that was me told me to keep my mouth shut.
But in his arms, all he’d said, all he’d done, all we gave each other, I didn’t.
My voice so quiet, it was even difficult for me to hear, I told him, “All my life, I’ve never been happy. So I never imagined even being that way. Until now.”
He heard me.
I knew because that got me another powerful squeeze that took my breath away and I felt his lips back at my hair.
“I wish you to share why this was with me, Madeleine.”
“I will, honey,” I wheezed.
He heard the wheeze and loosened his arms.