Breathe(231)

Chace looked back at him.

“Tragic, definition of it, all that’s happened to those kids. You and your woman, you did right by them. I see you got ties and they’re strong. ‘Spect, what I know of Faye Goodknight and her family, they do too. This job, we see a lotta bad. Can get used to it. Can make you hard. Wear you down. But tonight, son, tonight you get somethin’ not a lot of cops get. You get to witness what those kids’ grandparents are considering a miracle. When they take Jeremiah and Rebecca back to Wyoming, you’ll get to keep that along with the knowledge that you helped make that miracle happen.”

“Right,” Chace muttered.

“Help her deal. Give your woman that head’s up,” Cap advised.

Chace held his Captain’s eyes thinking, f**k, but it was a shitload better working for this man than it was working under Arnie.

Then he nodded.

Then he followed Dr. Carruthers out in order to meet Miah and Becky’s grandparents.

* * * * *

Chace opened the door to his truck to get in and get to Faye but stopped when he heard his name called.

He looked to his right to see Marc, one of their interns, moving toward him, his face pale, eyes troubled.

Chace knew immediately why. Marc had run the searches and Marc had heard about Miah and Becky.

Therefore, before Marc stopped and while he was opening his mouth to speak, Chace ordered quietly, “Don’t.”

Marc closed his mouth then opened it again to say in a tight voice, “I set the wrong parameters.”

“Don’t, Marc,” Chace repeated.

“I didn’t know he was eleven. I didn’t think just to try a search outside –”

“Not your job,” Chace cut him off. “Your job is to work and learn. My job is to help you learn. I didn’t know he was eleven either. But I also didn’t suggest it. I just expected it. Expected you to do somethin’ you didn’t know to do. It was my f**k up, Marc, not yours.”

“I’ve been an intern for –”

“Doesn’t matter,” Chace interrupted again.

“If we knew, we could have –”

“Shake it off,” Chace ordered.

Marc’s eyes got wide but his tone was bitter when he asked, “Shake off knowin’ I kept those kids from their grandparents for weeks, that girl held captive by a whackjob, all this because I didn’t do somethin’ as simple as do a search with a wider age range?”

“Yeah,” Chace replied and Marc blinked so Chace went on, “Listen, man, you want a career in law enforcement or you move onto anything else, you are gonna f**k up. Your superiors are gonna f**k up but you’ll do the work and feel shit about it or they’ll dump their f**k up on your shoulders. You wanna be a cop, sometimes decisions you gotta make either on the fly or during a long-term investigation are not gonna be the right ones. It’ll happen because you’re human. You gotta cut yourself some slack or, whatever you decide to do in this life, it’ll drag you down. One thing you can learn now is when someone gives you an assignment and doesn’t fully explain it, if they put that shit on you, that reflects on them. I gave you an assignment, I guessed the wrong age range and I made assumptions. You did what you were told. We both gotta live with that. But do not take that blame. Shake it off. Learn from it. And move on. Best you can do and it’s what I’m gonna do.”

Marc studied him then asked quietly, “You’re not pissed?”

“I was yesterday. Now, seein’ your face, seein’ you give a shit, thinkin’ on it, I still am. But at me. I had a bunch of shit goin’ on in my life and didn’t give my attention fully to this. I f**ked up and I made you feel the way you feel right now and kept those kids from their folks. But they’ll see them again tonight and soon, they’ll be home and healing. It’s over. We learn from it and move on.”

There it was. Faye having his back and she wasn’t even there. Faye teaching him he couldn’t shoulder the world’s burdens. Teaching him to give himself a break. Teaching him in a way he could teach a decent kid who wanted to do good deeds in his life the same lesson so he didn’t take the world on his shoulders like Chace had done for thirty-five years.

Marc held his gaze. Then he nodded and said, “Next time, I’ll extend the search.”

Chace hoped like hell there wasn’t a next time.

But he didn’t say that. He nodded.

Marc lifted his chin, moved away and Chace watched him go.

Then he gave it a moment, forced himself to let it go, sighed, angled in his truck and headed to Faye.