The door opened, and she dragged in a breath, oxygen she no longer needed filling her lungs until the useless organ ached and she forced it back out. He was in track pants, low on his hips, and shirtless. His cropped hair was damp like hers. He’d had a shower. Why the thought of him naked and soapy like she’d just been had her dragging in another breath, she didn’t know.
“Luna? What’s going on? Are you okay?”
She licked her lips that she was sure were fuller from her biting them, biting at them to stop the tingle from just the thought of what she was going to ask. “You said we’re friends,” she blurted.
He stilled. “We are. What’s going on?”
“I feel…weird, and I don’t know what to…how to…”
He grabbed her hand and gently pulled her into his apartment and closed the door. “Talk to me.”
“Will you kiss me?” she rushed out.
He went still again like he sometimes did, and the only sound was him swallowing. His Adam’s apple slid up, then down, and his brows lowered. “You want me to kiss you?”
“I think so, yes.”
“You think so?” he asked in that impossibly deep, husky version of his voice that she couldn’t seem to get enough of.
“I can’t stop thinking about the way Lazarus kissed Eve goodbye. It made me feel restless, and I…I can’t go to sleep until I know what a kiss feels like.”
His massive arms crossed over his chest. “When you think about it, who do you imagine kissing you? Lazarus? Or me?”
“You,” she said without hesitation, then quickly added, “Because we’re friends. Friends kiss, right?”
“Not the way Laz and Eve kiss.”
“What would a friend kiss be like?” she asked as her hands trembled.
Gunner moved closer. “You want me to show you a friend kiss?”
She nodded. “Yes.” She wasn’t an idiot. Of course she knew couples kissed one way and friends kissed another way. She wasn’t blind. What she didn’t understand was this feeling inside her. What was it? And how did she make it stop?
His gaze slid from hers, moving to her cheek, and then he leaned in and pressed a soft kiss there, lingering for just a couple of seconds before lifting his head again.
“How was that?”
She blinked up at him. “Nice, I guess…quick.”
His lips curled a little on one side. “You didn’t like it?”
“No, I liked it, but it wasn’t anything like Laz and Eve’s kiss.” She’d just said that out loud, hadn’t she? Her face grew hot. She’d lost all damn control over her mouth and what came out of it apparently.
He licked his lips and tilted his head to the side. “Do you think you’d like to try a kiss like that?”
She would, that’s exactly what she wanted. Her mouth was suddenly bone dry. “I can’t ask you to do that.”
“Is that what you want, Luna?” he asked again, his tone almost demanding.
She chewed her lip, hands clenching and unclenching at her sides. “You’d do that?”
“Yes.”
She wanted that, badly. She wanted Gunner’s lips on hers, to feel the way Eve had while it was happening, all breathless and happy. That’s how she’d looked anyway.
You’re so ugly, little dhampir.
Ice slid down her spine and she took a step back.
How could she put Gunner through that? She should never have come to his room. He’d done so much for her already. She swallowed down the pain. “God, I’m sorry for putting you in this situation, Gunner. I’m taking advantage of your kindness. I’m not sure what came over me.”
“Luna—”
She took another step back, which felt wrong, so wrong. “I know I’m…ugly and my eyes are unnatural and creepy to look at and you’ve had to endure me feeding off you every night. You must think I’m so fucking selfish asking for more. It’s just that I’ve never been kissed before, and it looked really nice, and I’ve been feeling so strange, and I’m…drawn to you in a way that confuses me and I couldn’t sleep, so I came here and—”
“Shhh,” he said as he closed the space between them, his jaw working and his eyes almost black again. “Don’t…do not say another fucking word, Luna.”
She blinked up at him, stunned. His arm curled around her waist and he tugged her in close, pressing his big body against hers. He was trembling. Her knight was trembling so hard she felt it.
“Gunner—”
“Shhh,” he said again and shook his head.
He closed his eyes and took several long, slow, deep breaths, and