Because they don’t know the terrible things you’ve done.
She sucked in a deep breath out of habit. She desperately wanted to trust them, to trust someone, she just didn’t know if she knew how.
If she should.
Opening herself up to more pain didn’t seem like a wise decision. Because eventually, they’d turn their backs on her, or worse, they’d learn the truth about her. It was only a matter of time.
She’d been strong for so long; there hadn’t been any other choice. Her sanity had depended on the thick, impenetrable wall she’d built around herself. If it crumbled away now, what would be left? She couldn’t allow herself to drop her guard, to allow herself to think about her life up until this point and not lose her mind entirely.
Not with how shaky she was right now. One moment she was crying, the next she wanted to punch something.
And then there was Gunner.
When she was with him, all she wanted was to get closer to him.
Stop. Get control of it.
She lathered the soap over her body, then rinsed off and climbed out. Drying quickly, she wrapped the towel around herself and opened the door, peeking into the bedroom. Just as Gunner had promised, there were clothes on the bed and the door leading to the small living room was closed.
Gunner was out there now. Waiting for her.
Then what?
She didn’t know. She couldn’t remember a time when Sir wasn’t controlling her every move.
Padding to the bed, she checked out the clothes and couldn’t help but smile. Grace had chosen these for her, there was no doubt in her mind. Black jeans and boots and a black sweater. There was even underwear, all black as well, and a small bag with some cosmetics, deodorant, hairbrush, a few other bits and pieces.
Luna had her camouflage. And it was all black. Even without the ability to feel, to experience emotion, she’d been drawn to the color. Maybe it was silly to some, but when she dressed this way, when she put on her black eyeliner and lipstick, it was as if she was someone else. Like she was somehow protecting the real Luna behind a disguise.
She needed that now more than ever.
Luna dressed, feeling less vulnerable, stronger almost instantly. And after using the bathroom mirror to apply heavy eyeliner and lipstick, the terrible grip in her belly, the weight of the unknown, lessened just a fraction.
She attacked her tangled hair with the brush. The thin bleached strip of hair she liked to dye different colors, usually red, had almost grown out, and her thick black hair was almost waist length now.
She gripped the edge of the counter and looked herself in the eyes.
Whatever comes next, you can handle it.
With her armor back in place, some of the tension left her body.
A soft knock sounded against the bedroom door. “Okay in there?” Gunner’s deep voice was muffled.
She gripped the edge of the counter harder, her skin flushing hot just from the sound of the male’s voice. Her mouth watered, but not from the memory of his blood working its way down her throat, soothing and healing, but from the scent of his skin, the texture, the heat of it against hers.
“Y-yes…” Barely a sound left her, her throat suddenly impossibly tight. “Yes,” she forced herself to repeat, stronger this time as she walked to the door.
You can’t hide in here forever.
Gripping the handle, she made herself open the door.
Gunner stood on the other side, towering over her, concern in his deep gold eyes. He smiled gently, and the scar through his upper lip made his mouth curl on one side more than the other.
She’d been away from him for less than an hour, and the impact of him, his size, his handsome face, that indescribable thing in him that drew her in a way she didn’t understand, was stronger than it had ever been.
His nostrils flared as his gaze moved over her from head to toe, and for the first time in her life, she desperately wanted to know what someone else thought of her appearance. She wanted someone to notice her.
Did Gunner like the way she looked? Or did her armor work on him like it did on almost everyone else?
His smile curled a little deeper. “Now this is the girl I remember.” His hand lifted as if he was about to reach out and touch her hair before he remembered himself and dropped