she said she was going to kill herself, but she just made some comments.”
She looks away again, tears welling up in her eyes. Then she covers her mouth with her hand and her expression becomes that of someone who’s truly distraught.
“I have . . . this friend,” she says.
Madden waits patiently for her to collect herself.
“I have this friend,” she starts again. “Her older sister was living back east. In New York. When the whole 9/11 thing happened.”
Madden looks at her, raising an eyebrow.
“Yeah.”
“Well, the older sister knew this guy. He called her that morning and said, ‘You won’t believe this, but this plane just hit the tower next to me. It just plowed right into the building.’”
He nods, hoping the detour would lead back to the main road.
“The thing is,” she says, “they ended up chatting on the phone for like almost a half an hour. I mean, they were just kind of joking around like they normally would, and he told her to turn on the TV and stuff.”
“And she didn’t encourage him to get out,” he says, guessing the end.
“Yeah. And he ended up dying. And the thing was, all his friends and her family blamed her for it. I was just a kid then, but I always remembered that. And how it really messed her up. She was never the same.”
At the Kroiter home yesterday, he didn’t have any tissues with him. But this time he’s stocked. He peels one off the travel Kleenex pack he has in his coat pocket and hands it to her.
“Thanks,” she says, and dabs her eyes.
“I’m not here to blame anyone, Carrie. I’m only trying to piece together what happened.”
“I know.”
She puts the Kleenex to her nose and blows. He waits for her to continue. After a moment, she says: “She was talking about how she’d been watching An Officer and a Gentleman. You know, that old movie with Richard Gere in it. Have you seen it?”
“I think so,” Madden says, not sure he had.
“Well, it was like one of her favorite movies. And there’s a scene toward the end where Mayo—the guy Richard Gere plays—there’s this scene where Mayo’s friend Sid kills himself because his fiancée rejects him. You know, it’s very tragic, and we always cried when we watched it. Every time. And she was just talking about how she understood how he felt and why he’d do it. She never had before, but now she did.”
A little astonished, Madden looks at her.
“How did Sid kill himself?” he asks.
“He hung himself in the shower.”
Again, his eyes blink involuntarily. They can’t hide the impact of her response.
“Why?” Carrie asks. “Is that how she did it?”
“Your mother didn’t tell you.”
“No.” Her voice fills with panic. “Is that how? Is it?”
He nods.
“Turn it off,” she says. “The tape. Please, turn it off.”
11/ THE COUNTDOWN
November 10, 2006—7:30 a.m.
AFTER HE WAS FINISHED WITH ROUNDS, COGAN WENT DOWNSTAIRS to the cafeteria for breakfast. He took oatmeal, two bananas, a yogurt, and orange juice, then carried his tray slowly out into the middle of the dining room, looking for someone to sit with. He saw Kim with a couple of other residents, then, further on, Bob Klein, a vascular surgeon, sitting alone reading the San Jose Mercury News. Klein saw him coming and waved him over.
“Rough night?” he asked, setting the newspaper aside.
“One MVA,” Cogan said. “Sixteen-year-old. Drove Daddy’s car into a telephone pole. Broke a couple of ribs, ruptured her spleen.”
“White or black?”
“White girl.”
“Heard you had a run-in with Beckler.”
News traveled fast. No doubt thanks to Rosenbaum.
“Just gave her a little friendly advice.”
“I’m sure.”
A Jew with an all-American face, Klein looked ten years older than he should have. He was two years younger than Cogan but his hair was a shade grayer, and he had a permanent stressed look in his eyes. Cynical and self-deprecating, he’d once said, “I’m just one of those people who needs eight hours of sleep every night but who was stupid enough to pick a profession where that’s impossible.” For Klein, everything seemed to revolve around sleep and the conspiracy to deprive him of it. Everyone was a suspect, even—and especially—his family.
Klein yawned. “My wife and kid are killing me,” he said bluntly. “I’ve got this presentation this afternoon. So last night, I say to Trish, since I put Sam down the night before, and I have some computer work to do, she should put him down. So she tries to put him down for a few minutes and