He said, “Leave. I mean it. You can’t be here. I don’t have time!” The last part was a shout. After which he leaned over from the waist and dry-heaved into the dirt, and the bloke he’d been talking to took a step back. Gray stood up, seemed to forget where he was, and took a couple of stumbling steps to the side. His arm went out to brace himself, but there was nothing to brace himself on.
What did I do now? What did you do when you were invading his space, interfering with his work, but when your work and your training told you he was in danger?
You dug in. At least, that’s what I did. I leaned close and yelled at him, “If you don’t come with me right now, you are never having sex with me again.” I was loud. He heard it. So did two other guys, because they smiled. I didn’t care. Gray glared some more, and I said, “Right now. Also, I’ll call WorkSafe.”
He shouted back at me, “Go nurse somebody else! I’m not your patient! Go the fuck home!”
Standoff.
I reached into his shirt pocket, found the packet, and got out another tablet, since I was pretty sure he’d lost the first one in that bout of retching. He swallowed it and glared some more. His nostrils were actually flaring. I put the cup of coffee in his hand, and when he tried to give it back to me, said, “Don’t you dare. Drink it. You’re an idiot, and you’re unsafe, and I’m leaving. The sandwich will be in your truck.”
I stomped off. The young fella joined me after a second and escorted me across the jobsite again. I’d have thought it was Gray being solicitous, but it was actually Gray wanting to get rid of me.
The drive home, then, pounding the steering wheel. And no more sleep for me.
Gray
It was seven-thirty before I made it home.
Daisy met Xena and me at the door. She didn’t jump into my arms, and she didn’t resume the fight. She got an arm around me, helped me up the stairs and into the bedroom, stripped off my clothes, and put me under the duvet. She closed the blinds, got the wet facecloth for my eyes, sat beside me and massaged my temples, and didn’t say a word. I wanted to ask her to feed the dog, but I didn’t have the energy.
I fell asleep to all the unspoken things between us. To the knowledge that I was failing in every possible way.
I woke up sometime much later, because it was fully dark. I was exhausted, as drained as if I’d just lost a championship game against the Springboks, and the mental post-migraine fog hung around me like the barometric pressure of a storm coming, weighing me down. I stumbled to the shower, stood in water as hot as I could manage, shivered hard, and leaned against the wall. Afterwards, I put on a dressing gown and went downstairs.
Daisy was at the dining table, working on something on her laptop. She closed it when she saw me and said, “I’ll get you some soup.”
I said, “You don’t have to do that.”
“I know I don’t,” she said. “I’m choosing to.” She came back with a bowl of chicken soup with noodles, a piece of toast, and a glass of water, set it all down in front of me, and said, “Try to eat all the soup and drink the water. You’re probably dehydrated and low on electrolytes.” After that, she went back to her chair and opened her laptop again.
I took a bite of soup and said, “This isn’t the silent treatment, because you’re talking. I’m trying to decide what to call it.”
“It’s a postponement,” she said. “You’re too ill to fight. I’m postponing. And I need to get ready for work.”
“You missed your workout,” I said.
“No,” she said. “I did my workout downstairs in your gym. I didn’t miss a thing.”
52
Step by Step
Daisy
I came home at nine o’clock the next morning, not knowing what I’d find there.
The first thing I found was Xena, coming to the door to greet me, her tail sweeping in a full circle. I gave her a pat and said, “Hey, girl. Hey. You must’ve been worried yesterday, huh? So was I. Why does he have to be such a stubborn bugger?”
In answer, she wagged some more and smiled. I patted her again, but absently, because right