the gut—because he looked beautiful and a little haunted and every bit as perfect as she remembered. His blue eyes were alight, and he wore soft blue jeans and a touchable white T-shirt that gave James Dean a run for his money.
“What can I get you, Professor Walsh?” she asked in her best server voice.
Don’t break, don’t break, don’t break.
“I thought we were past official titles,” Ronan said with a slight lift of his lips.
“We were, but…” Oh God. Why did this feel like carving her heart out with a dessert spoon? She would have to get used to seeing him. Ronan’s contract would keep him around for the rest of the school year, and she needed to check her feelings at the café door. “Sorry. Ronan it is. We’ve got chocolate-blackberry muffins today. Can I heat one up for you?”
His eyes searched hers. His neat facial hair had a slight reddish tint to it as the sunlight streamed into the café, and for a moment Audrey wanted nothing more than to leap the countertop and tackle him to the ground for a searching kiss.
“Can we…talk?”
“I’m working.” She shook her head and glanced along the line of people waiting. “You could have called.”
“Would you have answered?”
She looked up at him, heart drumming a thundering beat in her chest. He had hollows under his eyes that matched hers. And a serious pull at his mouth that made her want to reach out and soothe him.
“No,” she said honestly.
“I can’t go another day without talking this through.” He raked a hand through his hair, and the motion was so familiar, it called to Audrey. “God, I…I miss you so much.”
Tears pricked the backs of her eyes, but Audrey straightened her spine. She would not cry at work, no matter how much Ronan’s words ruined her. Because she missed him, too, with every beat of her heart. With every breath she pulled into her lungs. With every neuron that fired inside her.
“If you’re not going to order anything, then I need to serve someone else,” she said, determined to keep her cool. But inside she was breaking. How was she going to do this for the rest of the year?
“I’ll get a muffin,” he said. But when she moved to the pastry counter, he followed her. “Audrey, I messed up. You were right; I should never have gone behind your back.”
She reached into the pastry cabinet and wrapped her fingers around the metal tongs that hung there. They trembled in her grip, and the first time she reached for the muffin, she dropped it right back onto the tray.
“You were right,” he said. “I should have talked to you first instead of barreling ahead on my own like I always do.”
It was validating to hear him acknowledge that, but it didn’t change anything. Audrey dropped the muffin into a brown paper bag and began to close the pastry cabinet. “Anything else I can get you?”
“Another muffin.” His voice cut through the aching in her heart, and she looked at him over the counter. There was a determined set to his jaw. “I was expecting you to do all the growing and changing, but I was the one who needed to meet you halfway.”
The tears prickled harder now, but she blinked them back, reaching for one of the decadent chocolate-blackberry muffins and dropping it into the bag.
“Every day without you is like being torn apart.”
She sucked in a breath, fully aware that their conversation was drawing the eyes of those around them. “Is that everything?” she asked, trying to make her voice as perky as possible despite knowing there was a telltale wobble giving her away.
“Another one.” He folded his arms across his chest, and it only served to make him look even more impossibly handsome. Having those biceps on his side was an unfair advantage. “I want another chance, Audrey. I want to show you that…what we have is worth the difficult conversations and the apologies and the stumbling. It’s worth everything.”
She dropped yet another muffin into the bag, and now it was so full she could barely close the top. “Anything else?”
“Another muffin,” he said without missing a beat.
“Are you going to buy every muffin in this café one by one?” she asked, nailing him with a stare.
“If that’s what it takes for you to hear me out. Hell, throw in the croissants, too. I’ll take all of it.” Tension crackled between them as they faced down. Ronan wasn’t going to leave